Page 50 of Roan

Agustin frowns, his disapproval evident in his furrow. He hates drugs and tattoos. Like I said, he has no business being here.

Me? Everything about being here sends a kick to my heart and a smile I attempt to hide. This kind of environment, it’s me.

Within minutes, scanning the paddock with heat licking my body, I know exactly where Roan is. I spot him standing next to his bike, no shirt on and talking to Ricky. My throat knots with emotion. Scarlet’s there, her wild blonde hair tied up in a ponytail, Shade’s arm tight around her shoulder. He’s hanging on her and she’s sitting backwards on his bike facing him. A twinge of jealousy hits me. Not for Shade, but how carefree they are in love. Even when I was, or wasn’t, with Roan, I don’t really know that we were even together like they are. It was never publicly. It was always in secret.

Roan twists his position next to his bike, his lean body displaying every muscle underneath the artful ink on his back. He reaches beside him for his helmet, an energy drink in hand. After finishing it off, he hands it to Ricky. Rolling his neck from side to side, he shakes out his arms and then puts his helmet on.

Nerves pulse through me, my heart a steady rhythm to the beats of Skrillex. I think about his words, the way his chin shook when he said he was sorry, and then finally, again, “I didn’t fuck that girl in Athens.”

How could he? Anger rushes through me. I want to rush over there, kick him off his bike he’s sitting on now warming up and demand he tell me why. While I was so angry last night, I couldn’t confront him. Now I want answers.

Agustin isn’t fazed by anythinguntilRoan is announced. In that second his name is revealed over the loudspeakers and his red and white Honda bike comes into view, Agustin’s stance visibly alters. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen from him. I’ve never seen Agustin, well, jealous. That’s the only way to describe it because do you see the way he wraps his arm around my shoulder and draws me closer? That, my friends, that’s a jealous man.

“The Purge Announcement Siren Trap Remix” pounds through the streets.

Roan rides past the fence we’re standing along in what’s referred to as a stoppie, taunting me with his mirrored goggles and no shirt on. My stare is fixated on his every move, every flexing sweaty muscle popping out as he maneuvers his bike with little effort.

How do I know he’s taunting me? It’s my favorite trick he does on the bike because I think it looks so cool to see the back tire up in the air. Up until now, I hadn’t been sure he noticed me, but then he looks over at us and gives a nod. Or he’s looking at the chick with pasties on her nipples because she’s standing next to Agustin.

Look at him. He’s about to have a heart attack and keeps tightening his grip on my shoulders. He leans in, his lips at my ear, voice strained. “He does these stunts?”

I nod, avoiding eye contact. Thank God for the sunglasses I’m wearing. “Yeah, I mean I thought you knew that when I told you it was a freestyle motocross event.”

His breathing kicks up. “I didn’t realize it was this.”

How could he have not realized it?

Just feet from us, Roan brings the bike to a stop, removes his goggles and slides his eyes to mine. He does one of those full-body scans, you know, the ones that make you feel naked? I try not to physically react to his penetrating gaze, but do you see the way he’s looking at me? It’s like he’s stripping me bare and corrupting my soul with his piercing blue eyes.

“Roan!” the women scream, all frantically trying to grab at him.

“Sign my tits!”

Who do you think that one comes from?

Pasties chick.

Motioning her forward, he whispers something in her ear while keeping his eyes on mine. I hate the way his stare takes over. The way it crawls under my skin. I can feel myself turning red under his intensity. The moment his eyes leave mine, the warmth fades.

The woman smiles, her lashes fluttering, her cheeks painted pink. Oh, cute. Pasties girl is in love.

And then, in true Sawyer brothers fashion, he signs pasties girl’s tits. Right in front of me. Even leans in, cups her right tit with his gloved hand and scribbles “Roan” across her chest.

Ugh. Just.Ugggggggh!

I snap my stare the other direction and lean in closer to Agustin. Handing Pasties back her pen, Roan blips the throttle of his bike with a roll of his wrist and rides away.

What the hell did he say to her?

“Is this normal?” Agustin whispers into my ear when Pasties is gushing about her signed chest to him. She’s jumping up and down, her bare breast hitting Agustin in the arm. Look at her. She’s practically rubbing her entire body all over him, and while he looks insanely uncomfortable with it, he’s not moving away from her.

“Yeah, pretty normal,” I tell him, unintentionally, okay, totally meaning to glare Pasties’ way. I want to grab her face and ask her what it is Roan told her. Did he tell her to meet him at his trailer? Will they meet up later? Did he say nice tits?

At the end of the ramps, Roan’s lined up for his run, Ricky beside him. Right before the timer begins, he switches lanes to the mechanical assist ramp. It’s pretty much like the other ramps but the lip has a mechanical hinge on it that allows it to unhinge for front flips.

I breathe in slowly, then out when he rolls away from the starting line, hitting the ramp with precision, wondering what trick he’s going to do. Having trained for so long for the hare scramble series, he’s been away from freestyle for over a year now, I wonder if he still has the same drive for free riding as he once did.

While I chew the side of my thumbnail, Roan attempts for a lazy boy front flip but there’s not enough reaction off the pop. My heart catches in my throat when I realize what’s about to happen. Like I expect, he doesn’t land it and slides down the inflatable landing on his knees with the bike in front of him.

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