Page 48 of Dirt Driven

“No, you’re not,” Tommy reminded him. “You took a CPR class.”

“Still—” He paused and took a drink of his beer. “I could save someone if they were dying.”

“No, you could help them if they were not breathing, but it doesn’t mean you could save their life. There’s a lot of factors at play there. Why are they not breathing? Are they bleeding? Do they have a head injury?”

Willie’s brow pulled together in deep concentration as his shoulders hunched forward, defeated. “Okay, you’re just complicating it.”

Paxton burst out laughing and right then I knew he really was Tommy’s kid.

Sway grinned. “Fire crotch reproduced.”

Paxton leveled Tommy a serious look. “Why do they call you fire crotch?”

Tommy finished his beer. “You’re not old enough for that conversation.”

Pace laid his head back against my chest and I realized he was probably tired. Most kids his age would have been in bed four hours ago. “You tired?” I asked, kissing the side of his head. When I breathed in, he reminded me of when he was a baby and I’d hold him like this after a race to get him to go to sleep. He couldn’t sleep unless there was noise all around him.

He nodded. “Can we go sleep?”

“Yeah.” I patted his leg. “Why don’t you go say goodnight to Grandma and Papa.”

It was only a three-hour drive to Pevely, so we decided to make the drive in the morning instead of tonight. I got all three boys bathed and ready for bed, where they insisted on sleeping with me.

“I miss Mommy,” Pace told me, curling into my side as Knox and Hudson refused to sit still.

I grabbed Hudson by the back of his pajamas before he slid off the bed. “Me too.”

Pace sighed, as if he was totally stressed out about her not being with us.You and me both, buddy.“When is she coming home?”

It wasn’t lost on me that he called this home. A dirt parking lot inside a forty-foot motor home. But in fact, he’d spent most of his life inside a motor home traveling around the country with us. This was home for him.

“In a couple days.”

“Do you miss her?” he asked, looking up at me, his bright blue eyes hooded with exhaustion.

“More than you can imagine.” I made sure to catch Hudson again. “You three are a lot of work.” I made Hudson look at me. “Dude, stay on the bed.”

Finally, they fell asleep after an hour and I stared at the ceiling Knox had been so fascinated with earlier today. That was when I remembered that Arie had put glow in the dark stars on the ceiling for the kids when they got scared at night.

Thinking of her made me miss her more. Truthfully, I hadn’t stopped thinking about Arie all day. I hated I wasn’t at that appointment with her. And that she wasn’t answering my fucking phone calls. Had she gotten bad news and didn’t want to tell me over the phone? I couldn’t take the anticipation of not knowing.

Rotor – Rotating member of a motor.

FEDERATED AUTO PARTS RACEWAY AT I-55

PEVELY, MISSOURI

“I’m sorry I didn’t call.”

“Sorry?” Rager raised an eyebrow at me and I couldn’t miss the irritation in his voice. “I didn’t hear from you for two fucking days, Arie. Do you know how worried I was?”

“I told you, Bristol dropped my phone and it broke. I couldn’t call out.” I continued to load the groceries I’d bought on the way to the track. Cilantro, cheese, lettuce, tortillas, all tossed haphazardly into our fridge because I didn’t know how I was going to tell him about my appointment. And I couldn’t look him in the eye. I was petrified, too, because I knew I’d start crying.

“You could have gotten a new one.”

My heart kicked up in my chest, a loud hard thump I couldn’t ignore. “I could have, but I didn’t until I got back into Charlotte. Come on.” I sighed and set down the canvas bag I’d carried everything in on the counter. “I don’t want to argue about this.”

“I’m not arguing with you.” He turned to face me and leaned his hip into the counter, his arms crossed over his chest. Our eyes met. “I’m upset. There’s a difference.”