-broken
Telling the girls later that day wasn’t as easy. In fact, it was unbearable. We had breakfast, the girls played with their toys, and then I told them I had to get going. At first they didn’t understand.
“Why?” Camdyn asks, her eyes darting to Barron and then back to me.
“I have to get going today,” I say, my words shaking. I glance at Barron who’s leaning against the wall, his eyes downcast on the floor, as if he can’t bear to look at me. He’s chewing on the inside of his cheek, fidgeting with his shirtsleeve, a solid veil of armor on his heart. “I just stayed for Christmas, and now I have to get going.”
“My spell not work.” Sev glares and then stomps away to her room.
Barron sighs. “She’ll be okay,” he tells me, following her and leaving me alone with Camdyn.
She’s sitting on the edge of the couch, her feet dangling off the edge with the boots I got her still on her feet. She hasn’t taken them off since she opened them. Even slept in them last night. Her dark eyes find mine. “I forgot to feed Lulu.” She gasps, eyes widening.
“Want me to walk over there with you?”
She’s hesitant but slides off the couch and reaches for my hand. “Okay.”
“You know I have to leave,” I tell Camdyn as we feed Lulu carrots, feeling like my heart is going to burst into a million pieces.
She hands her another carrot. Lulu gobbles it down and sniffs my hands in search of more. Camdyn’s eyes drift to mine, burrowed in confusion. “Why?”
“I was only here because your daddy was fixing my car,” I remind her. “He did that so now I should be going.”
“Where are you going?”
I reach up and run my hand over Lulu’s mane. “I’m not sure. Maybe Tennessee.”
“I don’t want you to go,” she whispers, her voice so small and innocent that I’m reminded she’s only five and doesn’t understand this. “Why don’t you like us enough?”
“It’s not that I don’t like you enough, honey.” I press my lips to the top of her head, brushing her hair from her soft face. “You know that movieRapunzel?”
Camdyn nods.
“Well, you know how her mom kept her trapped in that tower?”
Another nod.
“That’s what my life used to be like. I lived for others. What I could do for them. And just like Rapunzel, I’ve been freed from my tower, and now I get to experience all this cool stuff for the first time. Things I’ve never done before to find myself.”
Her eyes dart around the barn and then back to me. “So you’re finding yourself?”
“Yes, exactly like that.”
She sighs, emotions she probably doesn’t understand moving through her. Her eyes meet mine, a tender plea in them. “We can steal your battery again.”
I smile. I saw the battery in the parts room one day. I didn’t say anything because I was so happy they wanted me to stay that they were willing to steal parts off my car to do it. “What?”
Camdyn swallows nervously. “Uh, I wasn’t supposed to say that.”
I lift her up into my arms. “Probably not, huh?”
“No.”
She takes my face in her hands, much like her dad does when he kisses me. “Will you come back after you find yourself?”
Heat rushes to my cheeks. “I’m not sure, but if I do, I’m coming to see you first, okay?”
Her eyes light up, a smirk that mirrors Barron’s surfaces. “Deal. But don’t runs into the shop this time.”