Page 191 of Lost in Love

The words hit me straight in the chest. How could she ever think I’ve forgotten about them? Everything I do is for her and the boys. “Unbelievable.”

“There’s a lot you refuse to believe.”

“Why did you come here, Madison? Were you actually going to give us a chance or was this just another ploy to appease me until it’s final?”

She says nothing.

“We built a life together, and you’re just throwing it away. There’s some things worth fighting for, and I’m asking if you’re going tofight for me.”

She blinks, tears welling up and she looks like she wants to vomit. “Ridley, I just don’t know anymore.”

“You don’t know? You don’t fucking know?

“It just sucks. It fucking sucks that for years you were gone and never making an effort.”

“Don’t you dare stand here and tell me I haven’t been trying! I am. I was. I had my fucking nut sack waxed to make you see I cared and wanted your attention!” By the way, the entire lobby heard that, and I guarantee most of them are eyeing my junk right now. “You were just to blind to notice.”

“I’ve been busting my ass for the last month trying to make you fall back in love with me. All I’ve done is try and be there for you and the boys, andthisis how you act now? I’m doing my best here, Madison. It’s not like I ever had a good example of the model husband or father. I’m literally learning as I go here and trying like hell to keep you happy. I didn’t want you and the boys to go through what my mother and I did. I never want Callan and Noah to have the feelings I did growing up, wondering why I was never good enough for my father. But you know what, what I finally realize today… it takes two people. I can’t be the one trying constantly to make this better.”

“Well, now you know how I’ve felt.”

Pay close attention to this next part. Or look away, whatever you prefer, because I’m pretty sure this is where I’m about to fuck everything up. Are you surprised?

Might as well go down in a blaze of glory, right?

“You know what, I’m done having this same argument with you. I’m done.”

She grabs my arm, panic flooding her eyes. “What do you mean you’re done?”

“It’s what I mean. I’m done. You win.” I throw my arms up in the air and let them fall to my sides. “If you want a divorce, I’ll give it to you. I’m tired of fighting for someone who doesn’t want to be married to me.”

Tears roll down her cheeks. “This is what you’re good at, isn’t it… walking away?”

What the fuck is she talking about?

“I’m just taking lessons fromyou.”

Let’s just skip to the part where she tells me to fuck off because it’s coming and all this arguing is making my brain hurt.

Guess what? This isn’t the first time a woman’s tried to slap me. You’re not surprised by that, are you?

But, like a man, I catch her arm by the wrist before she makes contact with my cheek. “Don’t you dare.”

And then as my luck would have it, she tries to hit me with the other hand. So there I am holding both of them. I’m apparently in asshole “I don’t give a flying fuck about anything” mode because I smile. “Is that all you got?”

Never ever say that to a woman because I’m holding both her hands and if she really wants to bring me to my knees where do you think she’s going to go next?

But she surprises me and doesn’t knee me in the junk. Instead, she practically spits in my face as she yells, “Fuck you!”

“Fuck you more!” I shout back.

All right, we’re being childish, but it’s the best I could do. I want to fuck her, sorry, but I do. Mostly I want to kiss her and take away this pain we’re feeling and lashing out at. I want to kiss the Madison from our wedding night. The girl with the smiles and the one who couldn’t wait to marry me, so much so her hands shook the entire time we said our vows.

I want to kiss that girl because she remembers why she married me. This Madison, she’s forgotten.

I edge closer, my body against hers so she can feel the warmth of mine scorch her skin. “I’m fucking obsessed with this, and you’re teasing me. Admit it, you made up your mind when you filed for divorce, and I was never going to change it, was I?”

Come on, give me something. You’ve taken so much from me lately. At least give me your eyes.

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