Page 210 of Lost in Love

“No, not in that sense. I still want to fuck you, but I’ll give you some romance too.” And then I kiss her tenderly, with meaning and well, romance.

And then we have sex.

It’s not gentle, or slow; it’s actually pretty fucking passionate and rough, and everything Madison and I are. My eyes are fire, hands gripping her waist tightly.

It’s then I know our intentions, no longer deceitful, are pure, caught up with what our bodies and heart crave.

As I taste her lips, her tongue, we’re alive with temptation we can’t resist.

When we part, she doesn’t move for the longest time.

Her arms wrap around me, and I bury my head into her neck, letting out a shuddering sigh. I want more than just kissing, and I think she knows it.

“I’m sorry for so many things.”

“Me too,” I tell her, laying her down on the floor.

Forehead to forehead, hot breath mixing together, my lips slowly teasing hers, both of us refuse to let go. “We’re different, Ridley. What if we grew apart too much?”

“We didn’t.”

“I think we’re different.” Madison stares at me, her lashes fluttering with tears.

I take in an uneven breath as her eyes move over my face. “Then we love the people we’ve become.”

My dad once said to me when your life changes, it either happens suddenly or over time, or because you changed it. I tend to think my dad is full of shit, but on this, maybe he’s right.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” she asks, smiling at me.

Lacing my fingers with hers as we lie on the floor, I kiss her knuckles. Everything inside of me knows that to have her, I’ll do anything, go through anything. “I’ll go along with whatever you want… as long as I haveyouin return.”

“You will.” Her hand moves to her stomach. “You have us.” And then she rolls to face me. “I’m going to be really clingy and needy for the next couple of months.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be insecure and jealous and want a lot of sex to make up for not having any. We should be perfect for each other.”

I know what you’re thinking, you forgave her pretty easily?

Or maybe it’s just me thinking I had, but look at it this way. Madison’s the mother of my boys and we have another baby on the way. What kind of man would I be if I just said fuck it, you lied to me, it’s over?

What’s that teaching my boys?

That’s not being a very good person if you ask me.

I had to look at it for what it was: she didn’t know how to talk to me. That was just as much my fault as it was hers for going about it wrong. She did it because she loves me.

I wasn’t happy about it, and it would certainly take some time for the pain to go away, but it would, eventually.

Madison knew what she did wasn’t right but neither was me making her feel like she was in our marriage without a partner. Sure, I worked my ass off to provide a life for her and the boys, but I forgot the reason I was doing it and Madison reminded me of it. Them. If I wasn’t around, the money, the life I gave them, it wasn’t worth it to them, or me.

Twenty-Two

Making time

Women,and most people, like some men who don’t have their balls anymore, assume after you have kids, your sex life goes to shit.

Why do they think that?

It’s bullshit if you ask me.

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