Page 3 of Lost in Love

Sighing, I pet his mop of curly blond hair. I head upstairs, careful not to step on the nail gun I left out the other day. You’re probably thinking, who leaves out a nail gun with kids around? I do. Don’t worry, I took the battery out and hid it, just didn’t take the time to clean up the rest. Could be some passive-aggressive behavior on my part, which might be another reason Kelly is pissed at me. She tripped over it earlier.

It only gets worse from here. It’s in that stairway I’ve been replacing the risers on all weekend, where I catch a glimpse of a family portrait laying against the wall. Why’s it not hung on the wall? We’re remodeling this house we can barely afford and hanging pictures on the wall is probably the last “to do” on Kelly’s list, and I’m not allowed to hang pictures on the wall. She claims I hang them crooked. Whatever. I hang shit just fine. But it’s not the fact that it’s on the floor. It’s a little blonde girl in the photo that catches my eye.

Swallowing over the ever-present lump in my throat when I think ofher, I keep walking into the bedroom, grab a shirt, and then I’m back downstairs. You might be curious what that was all about. Well, sorry, you’re going to keep wondering for the time being until I’m ready to talk about that part of my life. I’m late for work.

Two

Back to the beginning

(Just a few details worth mentioning.)

Rushing downstairs,I don’t say anything to Kelly as I leave. Maybe because I can’t get a grip on my emotions, or maybe I don’t want the reminder when I look at her that Mara had her eyes and laugh. So I leave the house without saying anything. It’s easier that way.

Outside, our neighbor is standing in his driveway talking on his phone while he tosses pebbles at our other neighbor’s dog who’s taking a shit in his lawn.

Bonner points to the dog on his lawn. “I’m gonna skin that motherfucker and make a rug out of him.”

I’ll help you.I don’t say this out loud because from what little I know of Bonner, he’d take me up on the offer and then we’d be in jail for animal cruelty. I know what you’re thinking: it’s not the dog’s fault. I’d argue that point because if you’ve ever seen this shih tzu glare, you’d know where I’m coming from.

I laugh, unsure what to say to Bonner. He might be younger than me, but I’m afraid to have a conversation with him. Not because I think he’s a pimp, which I do, but because I don’t fucking know why, okay? Take a look at the shirtless man. Can I call him a man? He’s what, eighteen? Okay, maybe he’s older than eighteen. But, let’s be honest here, you’re not looking at him, are you? I’m not. I’m looking at his wife, Ashlynn, standing a few feet from him. She’s half-naked, so yeah, I look. I might be married, but I’m also sex deprived, and even if I wasn’t, you put a naked woman in front of me, and I’m gonna fuckin’ look. I won’t touch. I have no interest in doing anything, but my eyes have a mind of their own. Sorry, Kelly.

Bonner’s wife has long blonde hair down to her waist, big blue eyes, and fake tits. Everything on her is perfection but probably created by a doctor. She’s nice, flirty, but still, fake as fuck. And I can’t imagine what she looks like without makeup on.

Bonner notices my lingering glance as I pretend to unlock my truck. He smirks and then gives me a wink. As if to say, yeah, I know I’m lucky. Here’s the thing, yes, his wife is hot, but so is mine. You want to know what makes Kelly special and beyond comparison to every other woman out there? She’s my wife, and more importantly, the mother of my children. I’d do anything for her and being faithful; it’s a vow I’ve never even thought of breaking. My love for my wife isn’t the problem with our marriage, and even after all this time, despite the fact that the D word isn’t far off, I still love her with every ounce of my heart. I’d literally do anything for that woman without question. Aside from being stuck in a room full of spiders. A frequent nightmare of mine.

Bonner tilts his head to the side and lets his sunglasses slide down his nose. “Have you seen my wife’s pussy?”

I stare at him. Did he really just say that? “Excuse me?”

He smirks. And then he waits. As if I’m going to say, well, yeah dude. Last night. Just so we’re clear, I haven’t, but it doesn’t stop my heart from hammering in my chest like I’ve been caught looking at porn. “Her stupid cat. She can’t find it.”

“Oh, him.” I gesture to the house and step toward my truck. “He’s eating peanut butter in my kitchen.”

Before I can have any more awkward conversations with Bonner, I open the door and practically jump in. It’s one of those moments when you just about close the door on yourself. As I sit in the truck now glaring at Bonner and his wife making out in their front yard, I think back to when Kelly and I first met and wonder if we ever had that undeniable spark that Bonner and Ashlynn have?

I’m not sure we ever had the chance to have it like that because Kelly got pregnant after a party where we hooked up one night. And she had a boyfriend. A longtime boyfriend who I’m pretty sure she loved. Before you go thinking she’s a cheater and I’m some kind of homewrecker, they were only dating. It’s not like I broke up a marriage. Does that change your sudden judgment of me?

No?

Listen to my story first. I’m going to start from the beginning and then fill in the details because it’s a long story and might take some time.

You’ve heard that obnoxious kiddy tune that goes something like, Noah and Kelly sitting in a tree?

Okay, fine. Here, I’ll sing it for you. By the way, I have a terrible singing voice.

Noah and Kelly sitting in a tree. K. I. S. S. I. N. G. First comes love, then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in the baby carriage.

Told you the song was annoying, but honest moment here. How often does it actually play out like that? Maybe in 1930. Definitely not the 70s, but in the twenty-first century, we do everything a little different. Nowadays it’s something like, Noah and Kelly, against the wall in the barn. F. U. C. K. I. N. G. First comes the best fuck of your life, then bam, surprise! Two pink lines. Then comes, what the fuck do we do? Okay, let’s get married. That rhymes, doesn’t it?

Not exactly, but it’s howthisstory starts. The one of Sex. Love. And then marriage. But you know, to this day, I’m still not sure if Kelly loves me, or was it just sort of something like, well, he makes cute babies, so he’ll do? It’s not like she hasn’t told me she loves me, but I sometimes wonder if she likes me.

Our story starts back fifteen years ago when I, Noah Beckett, stole a girl’s car to get her attention. I’m proud of what I did. I like to think this unique approach shows I’m resourceful. Kelly and I were childhood friends. Her parents owned the ranch next door to ours. Around the time I started high school, our parents got into a huge property dispute, and the Cole family moved further away. We kept in touch, but as we got older, I got heavily into football. I didn’t have time for girls, and Kelly wasn’t exactly my parents’ pick. From the time I was old enough to remember, they had basically pushed Veda Rhodes on me. Veda and I dated on and off when it was convenient for me but never for very long. Now back to Kelly. By the time we reached high school, she wouldn’t give me the time of day, so I thought I’d steal her car and then she’d be forced to talk to me.

“She hates your guts, Noah.” This comes from my cousin, Justice, beside me. Oh, right. In case you didn’t know it, we’re back at my old high school. You see me there, right? I’m the tall one wearing a black hooded sweatshirt with the football in my hand.

Kelly’s walking away from me in the skin-tight jeans, white T-shirt clinging to her tits, and the ass, the view I have of her, it was, and remains, the one feature about her I still imagine when I jerk off in the shower. In fact, I’m sure there are a few men out there with the same spank bank material. I’ll kill the motherfuckers when I find out who they are, but I’m getting sidetracked.

Me being the arrogant self-assured football star, I wasn’t going to stand for her ignoring me. I hadn’t worked three years to become the best player on the team and king of the school, to be ignored by a freshman, let alone Kelly Cole.

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