Page 31 of Lost in Love

Kelly’s lips quirk up into a smile, soft and gentle. “I love you.”

Once I’m in my truck, a sharp pain hits me that this is what I do to her constantly. I walk away. I push my feelings and words I can’t say away, and I do what I know how to—provide for our family.

I hate arguing. I don’t see the point in it. My dad was a yeller and constantly screamed at me to get his point across. I never heard any of it. Too many times the wrong words get said, and you’re left doing more explaining than actually communicating.

I jump at the sound of someone tapping on the window. It’s Bonner. I still want to kill him. I roll down the window. “Go away. I’m still mad at you.”

With a cup of coffee in one hand, he tosses a warning notice at me from the HOA. “They left this on your door this morning. I say we go take a shit on HOA lady’s doorstep.”

I rip the notice up and toss it on the floorboard of my truck. “Thanks for watching the kids.”

He brings the cup in his hand to his lips, smiling, his sky-blue eyes squinting into the direct sun peeking over the roof of our house. Holding up his hand, he blocks the light and tips his head forward. “No problem. How’s the hand?”

I start my truck up. “Fucked.”

“Sucks. Hey, come over when you get home.”

“Why, so you can give me a little blue happy pill again?” Can you sense the sarcasm in my voice?

Bonner can, and he snorts, rolling his eyes. His hand drops to my truck, and he knocks his fist against it. “No, I have something better for you.”

I roll my eyes. I don’t even want to know.

Work sucks.Working for your brother sucks and being a mechanic with one hand fucking blows. I’ll tell you what else blows. Today’s working youth. You wouldn’t believe how many kids out there, the Bonner Slades of the world who are holding down jobs, but just barely. I don’t know Bonner well enough to know if he is one of these kids, but his age group isn’t doing my judgment of him any favors. I just hope I’m raising my kids better than this, that they don’t turn out like assholes. There’s an excuse for everything with these guys. I need a break because I’m stressed out. I need a smoke because I’m stressed out. My dog puked last night… I need the day off. And my favorite, I just bought a new motorcycle. I need a raise. You should have thought about that before you bought it!

Where I came from, you got up at the asscrack of dawn and your day didn’t end until that sun went down. Every single day. It wasn’t like the cattle or any part of the ranch could wait until I finished vaping or checked Instagram for the latest drama. Hell, in Texas, I didn’t even know where my cell phone was most days and vaping, what the fuck is that?

Remember when I said you’d meet Nick? Now’s that time. He comes into the shop about ten, which is when he finally decides to show up for the day. Must be nice owning the dealership, you can just show up whenever you feel like it. I tell myself every day I’m going to open up my own shop and it’s days like this I think, yep, today’s the day I’m going to do it. I’m going to quit and open up my own place where I don’t have to rely on anyone else.

Only I don’t because I’m the kind of guy who hates change. I don’t hold out because I’m scared, or anything like that. I just like routine.

Nick walks through the door and immediately sees my hand. It’s pretty fucking noticeable with the ridiculous cast they stuck on it. “Whoa, what happened?”

“Broke it,” I mumble, trying to change a head gasket on a Honda with one hand. It’s not impossible, but not easy either.

“Shouldn’t you be at home then?”

I gesture around the shop. “And rely on these little fuckers you have in here to do the job?”

Nick nods. He knows exactly what I’m talking about but doesn’t do anything to fix it. We argue about it all the time, every day. And then a tall blonde comes walking in behind Nick, smiling at me. “I want to introduce you to someone,” he says, gesturing to the woman. “This is Ava Duncan. She’s our new head of sales.”

I glance over my shoulder at her and then smile. “Nice to meet you. I’d offer you my hand, but ya know,” I tease, my mood improving for the sake of not being a complete dick all day.

Ava smiles perfectly, laughter slipping past her lips. I haven’t seen a woman smile like that at me in years. She’s beautiful; I’ll say that much. Slender, with long, straight blonde hair she has pulled to the side in a braid and natural features, not the over the top you see in California usually.

Okay, pause here. Before you go thinking, Noah, what the fuck? I amnot, nor am I ever thinking about cheating on Kelly. Get that out of your head right now. I’m just simply acknowledging this is a real smile. Not forced or plastered on for the simple fact that she feels she has to smile.

But then she leans in and touches my shoulder with her hand. I’m not sure if you know this by now, but I don’t like being touched. By anyone. “Are you guys brothers?”

I look over at Nick, then back to Ava. I don’t like the way she asks are you brothers. It’s said in a way like she’s asking if we’rebrotherbrothers. You know the kind. The ones that fuck women together.

I’m about to say something snarky when Nick winks and wraps his arm around her slender shoulder, giving her a squeeze. “He’s my little brother.”

Yeah, I don’t like that either.

Ava leaves a few moments later, and Nick lingers, watching her ass as she leaves. By the way, Nick’s married. Has been for six years. Married his high school sweetheart after college and then moved her out to California.

I give him the look. He knows it. “Trust me, she’s great.”

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