Page 60 of Lost in Love

Kelly sighs and it’s more dramatic than I’ve heard recently. It’s as if she’s so frustrated she might rip my hair out. “Why can’t you just mow the lawn? Or I will.”

“Don’t you dare,” I warn, finally making eye contact with her. “It’s the principle behind it. They shouldn’t be able to dictate when we mow our lawn.”

“Yes, they can, Noah.” Kelly moves from the breakfast table to the kitchen to finish making breakfast. “It’s called a homeowners association for a reason, and we agreed to their rules when we bought the house.”

I set my coffee cup down. “Well, that’s just stupid. It’s not like the grass is that long.”

Kelly points to the front yard. “It’s at least eight inches.”

“That’s what she said.”

Naturally, she slaps me. “Shut up.”

Did you notice the humor in her voice? I did. She doesn’t hate me, so it might be a good day.

Oliver, who I hadn’t realized took a seat next to me, asks, “What’s that mean?”

I slide my eyes over to him, knowing I’m probably in trouble. If you notice Kelly in the kitchen now turning pancakes, she’s giving me that expression that screams, “bullshit your way out of this one, dude.” I play the “I didn’t hear you” card to buy myself some time to think of something clever to add. “Huh?”

“That’s what she said… what does that mean?”

“It means she said that,” I lie.

His brow scrunches as he pours entirely too much milk into his bowl of cereal. “I don’t get it.”

“Never mind.” I scoot closer to him. “Are you being nice to your sister?”

He shrugs and digs his spoon into his cereal. “If being nice means not talking or hitting her, then yes.”

I roll my eyes. “So, buddy, Jason was telling me about this fishing charter he takes the boys on every year. Would you want to go with me?”

Oliver’s eyes light up. “Really? Like just me and you?”

“Well Jason and the twins would be there too,” I point out as Hazel sits down across from him, her plate full of pancakes she probably won’t finish.

Oliver glares at Hazel but doesn’t say anything to her. “But she won’t be there, right?”

I fight off a frown. It bothers me that he hates Hazel so much and I can’t understand why. He didn’t up until a year ago. Sure, Hazel’s got a mean streak in her just like all kids, but all Hazel’s ever wanted is to be like Oliver. She adored Mara but Oliver, he’s the big brother. For that reason, she idolizes him even if he’s a dickhead to her 98 percent of the time. He should be protecting his little sisters, but instead, since Mara died, he distances himself from his siblings.

In theory, I think I know why. It’s like when my black lab, Eddie, growing up had puppies. She had five one year. Four girls and one boy. The boy, he was the runt of the litter and died almost immediately. After he died, Eddie didn’t want anything to do with her puppies. I had to feed them with bottles to get them to survive, and I remember thinking back then, I can’t believe she turned her back on her puppies all over one dying.

Now that I’ve lost a child, I understand it a bit more, and I think in part, that might be what Oliver’s doing. He’s distancing himself because of how bad that hurt. He was eight when Mara died, and I’m sure he remembers every detail about the day as he was with her that morning. It all happened so fast, and I’m sure he has regrets of his own, but he’s so much like me, it’s hard to get it out of him.

Maybe a weekend alone with him will help that.

“Shit!” Kelly yelps, jumping away from the griddle and holding her arm.

“Mama said shit!” Hazel snickers, petting the cat sitting next to her.

“Ew, shit,” Sevi giggles, sitting on the floor at Kelly’s feet. “Shit. Shit. Shit.”

At first, I search out Fin, wondering if shit will be her next word. Nope. She couldn’t give a flying fuck. There’s a pancake on her tray and she’s stuffing it in her mouth.

I look over at Kelly to make sure she’s okay. “You okay, honey?”

She’s running cold water over her wrist. “Yeah, just burnt myself.”

After breakfast, I head to work, thankful it’s finally Friday. Just before I’m out the door, Kelly stops me, padding through the foyer with her bare feet and holey sweats. “Were you serious?”

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