Page 73 of Lost in Love

We gather around the table and begin eating, most of us silent besides the kids and their laughter.

“So you’re all neighbors then?” Mom asks.

It’s then Gretchen and my mother make small talk for a few minutes. Maybe they have some things in common. I really like Gretchen, but you have to admit, she’s a bit uptight at times. Which is why I sat her next to my mom.

Afraid to look up, I keep my head down, my attention only drawn when Sevi, who has been sitting on my lap, pushes his own plate onto the floor and starts eating his cut-up pieces of steak off the floor.

“Sevi, get up,” Noah whispers to him. “Eat at the table.”

Sevi looks up and growls at him.

“Little boys should eat their dinner at the table,” Mom says, because this kind of thing is unacceptable to her. She has always been a very traditional southern woman. “He shouldn’t be allowed to behave like this, regardless if he’s struggling to find a new normal.”

I don’t like the way she says “new normal,” and you can imagine Noah’s take on that too. I don’t even want to look in his direction to see what his reaction is going to be to this.

“Mom, it’s fine.” My voice is barely above a whisper. I think for sure if I speak up, everyone will hear the crack in my voice and know I’m moments away from crying.

Kate pipes up with, “He’s not hurting anything by eating his food off the floor.”

I smile at her, winking as a thank you but my mom doesn’t let it go. “It’s not fine,Kelly. It’s weird. Maverick and his wife, they got their kids a dog. Maybe you should do that.”

I’ll pause for a brief moment because there’s a reason why my mom mentions Maverick here. I’ve never mentioned him because it doesn’t matter. I had been dating him at the time when Noah and I got together. My mom loved Maverick, or shall I say she loved his family. Our moms were best friends. And yes, I cheated on Maverick with Noah. Did I plan on hurting Maverick? No. I didn’t, but I did, and it didn’t go over well but at the time, that night with Noah had led to me getting pregnant with Oliver. I’d been in love with Noah since I was five years old and moved next door to him. The most important part of all this is Maverick and Noah do not, nor have they ever, got along. So for her to bring his name up, it’s a dig at Noah.

The very instant Maverick’s name is mentioned Noah drops his fork. The sound makes me jump, but I’m quick to defend myself. “I don’t care what Maverick and his wife did. We parent Sevi this way. We let him be a dog because like Kate said, he’s not hurting anyone and it’s not harming him.”

As if I’ve said nothing, she continues, despite Noah’s clenched jaw and the silence around us. I can literally feel him vibrating beside me. “Okay, well, he could choke himself with that leash and then what?” I know exactly what she’s implying, and Noah does too. She’s implying that he could choke himself and die, and then we would have lost two kids.

“Mom, stop,” I whisper, pleading for her to let it go.

“Maverick’s a good guy. You should really give him a call sometime, Kelly. I’m sure he’d love to hear from you.”

Did she really just say that? What the hell does giving him a call mean? I’m married. He’s married and apparently raising his kids the right way.

“No,” Noah snaps, his voice calm but final. “She shouldn’t give him a call.”

“I think Sevi’s cute as a puppy,” Kate pipes in with, Sevi licking her hands as she holds his corn on the cob for him. Apparently, puppies can’t hold their own. “Boys act this way. August went through a stage where he pretended to be a zombie. Even used eye shadow to make his eyes look dark. It was just last week so they really never grow out of this kind of thing.”

My mom doesn’t even look in her direction, but I send a small smile Kate’s way for stepping in and making me feel better.

You’re probably thinking to yourself, “Is this woman for real?” Sadly, this is the way she’s always been. I can’t ever remember a time when she didn’t act this way, and I fully understand why she and my dad divorced when I was younger.

When Mom reaches for the wine and pours herself a glass, I know exactly where the night is heading, and I’m pissed. Beyond pissed.

Oliver gets up from his place at the table and then rips Noah’s phone off the shelf it’s on. He hands it to my mother. “Here, find that video we took earlier of me playing basketball.” He looks at Noah. “I made a basket from the three-point line, Dad.”

Noah smiles, but then he and Bonner exchange a terrified look. I’m not completely positive, but I can take a wild guess as to why that look is exchanged.

It happens faster than I’m sure Noah would like, but in amongst the conversation at the table, my mother finds our sex tape on Noah’s phone. You remember, the one where we had sex for a couple of hours and it ended with a black eye? The one he promised he’d delete?

He didn’t.

I look at my husband. His expression is blank but terrified. I look to my mother, and she fucking pushes Play as she whispers to Oliver, “Is this one it?”

The moment Noah hears my giggles and his laughter on the video, he lunges for the phone, knocks over wine, plates, basically destroys the table in the process to get to his phone and throws it across the room. It hits the wall and breaks.

“That definitely wasn’t my basketball video,” Oliver says, his eyes wandering to mine, and then Noah’s. “Was that you and Mommy?”

The next five minutes are spent trying to explain to the kids what just happened. It’s possibly the worst experience of my life, and Kate and Jason, they try to fix Noah’s phone. I think only because they really want to watch the video.

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