Page 89 of Lost in Love

“I did too, and you don’t see me acting like she didn’t exist in the first place. He actually said he wanted to forget her, Maverick. Like she didn’t exist at all.”

He swallows as if he’s trying to find the right words to explain this to me. “His struggle is completely different though, and his healing is too. Men don’t want to be reminded of pain. We want to deal with it and forget. But when you lose a child, that’s something we take personally. Our job as a father is to protect our children. Raising boys, we raise them to be men and defend themselves but a daughter….” His voice fades with a sigh. “That’s completely different. We’re their protector. And with Mara, he couldn’t save her. So not only does he have her death weighing him down, he feels like he let her down, and you.”

Tears slide down my face. “He didn’t let us down.”

“Then hear him out when he comes back.” Leaning in, his lips touch my ear, the softest of flutters that used to send a chill down my spine. Only now, it’s different. I don’t feel anything for him, and he’s certainly not meaning for it to come across in a sexual manner. “I know a thing about losing the girl,” he whispers. “He doesn’t want to lose you too.”

“I’m not sure what to do,” I finally say, wishing he’d tell me. “Everything has fallen apart and now with Noah… I just… I don’t know anymore. I’m failing at all this. I don’t know how to be there for him when I can’t even be there for myself and the kids.”

His brow pulls together, his green eyes focusing on mine. “Do you want to be with him?” I hate the way he says the words because this expression, the pitch of his voice, it’s so eerily similar to the night I told him I cheated on him with Noah. And if I had to guess, the words are similar too.

One would think that’s an easy question to answer, but when you think about what Noah and I have been through, it’s not easily answered. I think hard; the answer is simple but impossible to comprehend. “I love him and I want to be happy.”

“You don’t need Noah to be happy.” Maverick looks at me seriously, and I know I’m not fooling him. “You know he never meant to hurt you. If he does come back to talk to you, hear him out. You may not like what he has to say, but hear him out.”

“Did he put you up to this?”

“No way.” Maverick chuckles, winking at me. “He’d probably beat my ass if he knew I was here with you, but who knows where he is. He was drunk when I saw him.” He side-eyes me with a smile. “Told me some shit about him fucking up. Then he left with his cousin.”

Swallowing, I draw in a deep breath hoping my fears go with it, but they don’t. That same nervous feeling is still very much present. I have no idea what tonight’s going to bring, but I’m scared.

Twenty-Seven

A Storm’s Brewing

(In more ways than one.)

A Texas familywedding is usually over the top in every way. Think twenty bridesmaids and enough cowboy hats to make you think you’re at a rodeo. By three that afternoon, I’m drunk, but I’m at least in my bridesmaid’s dress, and the weather outside is questionable. In Texas it always is. You can have sun one minute and a dark sky the next.

You’re probably wondering where Noah is, aren’t you? While I’m upstairs in the bathroom helping Kelsey get ready, we notice his arrival in the field behind the house because of Hazel’s screams when she spots her daddy. He shows up with his cousin Justice, both of them dressed in tuxes. By the way, not that it matters, but Kelsey lost her virginity and dated Justice all four years of high school, and now she’s marrying Jonas, his brother. And here I thought I had issues. My sister looks like she’s about to puke when she sees Justice.

Kelsey’s breath catches when she notices Justice in a tux. “Am I making a mistake?” she asks me, as if I’m responsible enough to make this decision.

Pushing my own problems aside, I glance over at her. “Do you love Jonas?”

Tears surface in her blue eyes. “I love him, I do, but my heart stabs every time I see Justice.” She flips her hand at the window.

I don’t think I ever asked her this because I was raising babies at the time and I didn’t take the time to check in on my little sister as much as I should have. “Why did you break up with him?”

“I didn’t break up with him. He went away to college, cheated on me, and then things happened with his brother. I don’t know how it all happened, but I think about Justice now, and it just hurts so bad.” She gets in my face, her mascara starting to run. “Tell me what to do. Did you know you wanted to marry Noah?”

“I did, but if you remember correctly, I didn’t go about it the right way either. I was seeing Maverick, who you didn’t tell me you invited, but I’ll let it slide….”

“Sorry,” she whispers, dabbing a tissue to the corners of her eyes.

“I’ve been in love with Noah from the day I met him. Even when I was dating Maverick, my heart was never his.”

This, unfortunately, makes my sister cry even harder to the point where her soon-to-be mother-in-law comes in and checks on her. Linda takes one look at Kelsey and frowns. “Did Justice find you?”

Now she has my attention too. It’s Kelsey who asks, “No, why?”

Linda’s face is frozen. “Oh, nothing. Are you almost ready?”

Kelsey narrows her puffy eyes at Linda. “Why would Justice find me?”

Linda’s face pales. “That’s for him to say, not me. I love both my sons, but before you walk down that aisle, you should talk to both of them.”

The next hour is spent with Kelsey crying, Jonas punching his older brother, and Justice locking him and Kelsey in a room together.

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