Page 98 of Lost in Love

“Noah, tell me what to do.”

“Me?”

She kicks my leg with hers. “Yes, you.”

I practically choke on my water. No, actually I do choke on it. Clearing my throat, I set the water on the table. “What the hell would make you think I would know what to do?”

Her teary eyes slide to mine, her bubble-gum-colored lips frowning. “Because you and Kelly followed your hearts.”

She’s right, we did. I glance up at my wife currently line dancing with our daughters, her smile as radiant as the day we said “I do.” Which, given the night, or hell, last two years we’ve had, is hard to believe she can still smile like that. Kelly motions me forward with a crook of her finger when the song changes to a slower one. Standing, I pat Kelsey on the shoulder. “What does your heart say?”

Her tears don’t stop. “My heart tells me not to hurt him.”

I think she’s talking about Jonas, but I don’t know for sure. “Then you have your answer.”

Stepping toward the dance floor, you would think I’m going to dance with Kelly, right? Well, I intend to but guess who stands before me with her arms out? She’s about two feet tall and spits on people.

Yep. Our little camel is actually holding her hands out to me. “Tit?” she says, wide-eyed and waiting. Maybe that’s code for up? She knows one word so why not make it universal, right? Unless she’s thinking I’m going to feed her. If that’s the case, she’s going to be sorely disappointed by my hairy nipples.

Picking her up, I hold her. “Are you going to spit on me?”

Her brow comes together, the tiniest pinch of her baby soft skin, but she doesn’t say anything. She yawns and lays her head against my shoulder.

Unable to process what’s happening, my heart pounds. Raising my hand, I rub it over her back and sway to the music with her. I can count the number of times I’ve held Fin on one hand. Every single time it’s been because she used me to get up onto something else or to get closer to Kelly.

Only now, she’s letting me hold her because she wanted me. I always thought Fin’s aversion to me had to do with the fact that for the first few weeks of her life, I didn’t hold her. I was scared to. In fear of getting attached to her, I distanced myself. I think she sensed it and did the same. Whatever the reason, holding her now, I regret not having made the effort sooner.

Look around me. There’s nobody she wants and she’s laying her head on my shoulder. Placing her hand over my heart, she closes her eyes. Are you crying? It takes some herculean strength on my part not to. I do good. Yeah, there are some tears, but I’m more concerned with what’s happening around me because the groom just spotted the bride, and the best man is standing between them.

All hell is about to break loose.

“Are you tired?” I ask Fin, tipping my head forward to catch her half-lidded eyes.

She nods and points to the house. About then, my mom comes by and reaches for her. “I can put her down for you if you want.” She takes Fin from me, Sevi holding her other hand. He’s covered in dirt and has a cake pop in his other hand. It has one bite taken out of it.

Shit.

Ripping the cake pop out of his hand, I eat it. He growls at me. “Puppies don’t eat cake,” I tell him, thinking this will keep him from biting me.

Thankfully, Sevi shrugs it off, and my mom takes the kids inside. Kelly walks over to me, her eyes wide. “You should say something.”

I stare at her. “To who?”

“To Jonas or Justice, I don’t know.” She gasps, throwing her arms up. “Don’t let them get in a fight.”

“From the looks of them, they’ve already been in one.”

“I can’t fuckin’ believe you!” Jonas screams to his would-be, but not-now wife’s face. “Did you fuck him while we were together?”

Silence fills the backyard; the question answered by Kelsey’s lack of words.

Jonas steps toward her, his anger rolling through him. He scans her face, waiting for it. “Are you fucking serious?”

Kelsey panics, her eyes snapping from Jonas to Justice, then back again. “I didn’t…. not after we were engaged.”

Jonas gets right in her face, his fist hitting the side of the house behind her head. “We’ve been together for eight years. In that time, did you fuck him?”

There’s a simple nod, one I know too well.

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