Page 116 of Paper Hearts

I sigh and attempt to ease some of the uneasiness between us. “I’m gonna check on her and you should go back to the wedding.”

Another nod, but no confirmation.

“Do you remember when you said you didn’t want to hurt me?”

His jaw tightens. “Yeah?”

“The only way you can hurt me is by leaving.” I grab onto his tie and yank him forward. “So you better not leave. No matter what happens back at the house, you leave, and I willnevergive you another chance. With me, or Eddie.” I know I can’t keep him from her, but it doesn’t stop me from threatening him.

His eyes soften as he touches my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I hope I can believe him. I want to, but so much is on the line now.

As we leave the barn, I have no idea what to make of what just happened. What was I thinking? I fucked him in the barn. Am I a slut? I know nothing about this guy, and I went and spread my legs the instant he says he’s sorry. Am I weak?

Maybe don’t answer any of those questions.

“Tell me about her,” Ender says, walking next to me as we step over branches and debris from the storm that rolled through.

“Eddie?” He smiles and looks over at me when he hears me sigh. “God, Ender, she’s perfect. She’s stubborn, bratty, creative, sensitive, loyal…. She’ll stand up for anything she believes is right. Never backs down. Loves baseball.” I glance over at him and he’s staring straight ahead at the road we’re walking down, and I don’t need to see his face to know I’m upsetting him. It’s in his posture. “She’s loves pizza, but hates tomatoes so really, she loves cheese bread. She… is you.” His eyes find mine and the moonlight lights his face. “In looks, personality… she’s you.”

His brow furrows and he searches my face. “I see you in her too. She has your nose, your smile, and your laugh.” He was paying closer attention to her than I realize during the wedding.

We walk in silence again, my heels clicking against pavement, his feet dragging as if we’re drawing this out. “You were in the Navy, right?” I don’t know why I’m asking. I know he was, but I guess I want to know him more than he’s allowed.

“I was.” He nods, his hands buried in the pockets of his slacks. “I broke my back last year on my first tour. After two surgeries, I was medically discharged.”

“How did you break it?”

He snorts. “The building we were in exploded from an RPG. I was thrown almost a block away.”

“And you only broke your back?”

“Guess I’m tougher than I look,” he muses, and I wonder if there’s a hidden meaning behind his words. “I have a metal rod in there supporting two vertebrae but I was lucky for sure.”

“What part of the Navy? Like, what did you do?”

“I went through SEAL training and became a Navy SEAL. I didn’t get to do anything cool.” He chuckles under his breath, his steps slowing as if he’s drawing our time out. “Like blow anyone’s head off from a mile away, but I was on my first tour as a SEAL. We’d been on assignment in Kuwait when it happened.”

My eyes widen. “Wow. You probably experienced all kinds of crazy shit.”

He swallows and shrugs. “I suppose so, but now it feels like another lifetime.”

I smile. “It makes sense.”

“What?”

I bump my shoulder into his. “That you became a SEAL. Someone who protects others. But I’m curious how you listened to them telling you what to do. You used to hate that.”

His mouth quirks into a half-smile but he doesn’t say anything.

Back near the house, I notice my mom has all the lights off and I really don’t want to disturb Eddie if she’s sleeping.

“I don’t want to wake Eddie up if she’s sleeping.”

Ender hesitates between the two houses. “I should go check on Arya.”

“I’ll come with you.”

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