Page 122 of Paper Hearts

“Maybe in a minute,” he mumbles, taking a drink of his coffee, his eyes drifting over my body, his hair falling into his eyes. I love that his hair is still the same.

I roll my eyes playfully. “Stop.”

“Sorry.” He laughs. “I never took that dress off last night. I haven’t had this view in six years.” He bumps his shoulder into mine, smiling, but he doesn’t make an attempt to kiss me. His eyes drop to my lips, but he holds back.

I stare at his bruised and puffy eye. You can’t even see the white of his left eye. It’s blood red. Anger pulses inside me. “Where is he?”

“Not here.” His voice is thick, like he just woke up.

“Do you think he’s coming back?”

Ender’s shoulders stiffen and he takes another drink of his coffee. “Not if he knows what’s good for him.”

“Are you okay?”

He blows out a breath, shaking his head as his gaze lifts to Eddie who is now running toward us, cowboy hat on and smiling. “I’m terrified.” He watches her every movement with a gentleness in his eyes I’ve never seen before. It’s like he’s fascinated by her, and I know the feeling. His attention drifts to mine. “I’ve missed so much.”

I rub his back, standing closer.

“You gave her my last name….” It’s not a question but more of an observation. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.” And I want to offer him something. Words to make him feel better, but what can I say? I also can’t be mad at him for not being a part of her life. Well, I can, but where is that going to get me? I don’t want to live in the past any longer. Eddie deserves a future with him and I’m not going to keep her from him.

Eddie approaches us, cowboy hat on, her hands on her hips as she stands in front of Ender. Water drips from her body and she stares at him. “Who are you?”

Ender draws in a deep breath and kneels at her level on one knee. Holding out his hand, he gives her a soft smile. “I’m Ender.” He doesn’t say his last name.

Eddie shakes his hand. “Do you knows my mama?” Her eyes lift to mine.

“I do.” Ender nods and looks up at me.

Eddie grins, blinking steadily at him. “Are you her boyfriend?”

Ender chuckles and runs his hand over his jaw. “No, honey. I’m not.” And then he touches her hat, tipping it up so he can see her face more clearly. “Did you know this used to be mine?”

My heart beats hard in my chest.

Eddie gasps, her eyes wide. “It was?”

Ender and I exchange a look and I hesitate. I think he’s more nervous than I am based on the worry in his eyes, but I kneel next to him and take one of Eddie’s hands in mine. “Eddie, honey… Ender is your daddy.” There. I said it. And fuck if my heart isn’t pounding out of my chest.

Ender swallows, his posture rigid as he searches Eddie’s face. She looks at him, and then me. And then she frowns, a pout on her lips. She lets go of my hand and holds her hand over the cowboy hat. “Do I haves to give my hat back? Uncle Myles said it’s my daddy’s.”

I cry, trying to brush tears as they fall. I don’t want Eddie to see me cry.

“No. That’s yours now.” Ender smiles at her. “It looks better on you.”

Her shoulders relax and she pushes strands of hair from her face. “You’re really my daddy?”

Ender nods, his body shifting as if he’s uncomfortable, but doesn’t say anything.

“Look.” Eddie reaches for a lock of her hair and then stares at Ender. “We have the same color hair.”

He smiles tenderly. “We do.”

Eddie sighs and looks over her shoulder at the lake. “Can I go swim now?”

“Sure.” I wink at her and stand up at the same time Ender does. “Go ahead.”

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