Page 130 of Paper Hearts

“Thank you for dinner.” I place the cookies I got for the kids in my bag next to the book.

Ender pushes my hair off my shoulder. “Where does this leave us?”

“You and me?”

His eyes hold steady. “And Eddie.”

“Well, I have to fly out to LA next week and I’m taking her with me. When we get back, we could come see you if you’d like.”

He smiles. “I’d like that.”

My heart skips at his admission.

We’re outside the house, in the driveway of Lana’s house. No lights are on. There’s nobody left at their home but Ender. Myles left this afternoon and I don’t know where Lana went. I draw in a careful breath and look over at him. He’s watching me. He looks nervous as to what happens next. “I don’t know what to do, Ender. I don’t want to rush into this, and every time I look at you, I fall head more. And I think I am because the idea of being away from you again hurts my heart. Physically. I get a pain every single time.”

He closes his eyes, dropping his hands from the steering wheel. “I know what you mean.”

I groan, waving to his body with a flick of my wrists. “See? I look at your hands and I think, fuck, I want them on me. I want to feel the pressure of your fingers wrapping around my throat again and the weight of your body pressed between my thighs.” Okay, I should have stopped at one beer. Not three!

Ender’s eyes slide to mine. His expression changes from indifferent to anger, sadness, all of them and then his words come, shaking with his breathing. “Hads, I’m going fucking crazy over here.”

Before I can think, he’s pulling me closer. His heart’s pounding, the strong muscles of his chest flexing, his arms comforting around me. Leaning in, he kisses my neck. It’s not a soft one either. It’s determined, and I know where this is heading when his hands find their way to my thighs. My mouth presses to his—eager, desire-filled, and passionate.

I try to swallow over the tightness in my throat. “Ender….”

“Hmm?” His lips don’t relent.

“We should wait.”

“Uh-huh.” He nods, but his hands don’t stop and his mouth doesn’t give up. Open-mouth kisses move up the curve of my neck to my ear.

I clutch the front of his shirt. “Oh, fuck it.”

He’s impatient, fumbling and pushing doors open as he carries me from the truck into his parent’s house. He climbs the stairs, his lips on my neck, and he’s grunting with each step.

We find our way to his room where he lays me on the bed, and his hands slip under my dress at my hips as he slides the panties down my thighs. “You can tell me no,” he whispers, his hands shaking.

“Is this wrong?” I pant as he covers my body with his, sliding inside me soon after.

“Baby.” His breath shudders, his eyes on mine. “Nothing that feels this good is wrong.”

50

WHEN SHE CALLED HIM DADDY

We spend the night in Ender’s bed, and for the first time, I fall asleep in his arms. I’ve never actually slept beside him other than the time we camped in the backyard here, but Arya slept between us.

As the sun comes up, I sit on the edge of his bed for close to an hour, watching him sleep. Eddie looks so much like him when she sleeps. Gone are the deep lines of his furrowed brow and the constant need to rearrange his features to hide what he doesn’t want others knowing. Now he’s left with a peacefulness you don’t see when he’s awake.

When I run my fingertips over his stomach, he stirs and slowly opens his eyes, his hand reaching for mine. I’m half tempted to pull the sheet back and check out naked Ender a little longer, but I resist and press my lips to his. “I have to go. Thank you for last night.”

He sits up when I pull back, adjusting the sheet on his waist. “Are you leaving?”

God, look at those stomach muscles. I think about the way they flexed when he came last night. Fuck. Stop. “I’m going to check on Eddie,” I tell him, trying to shift away. “I’m not leaving the lake yet though. Probably later in the morning.”

Running his hand over his face and then through his hair, he glances around his room before settling his eyes on mine. He swallows and then brushes my hair off my shoulder. “Don’t leave,” he whispers, his voice rough. “Not before I can say goodbye to her.”

“I’ll wait. I just don’t want her waking up without me there.”

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