Page 151 of Paper Hearts

Arya’s eyes are on Booker and Roman down by the water. She smiles, watching them play. Booker’s started crawling but is spending more time trying to eat the grass. “Did you ever think we’d get here?” She wraps her arm around my shoulder, pulling me into her side.

“No, I didn’t.” It’s the truth. This time last year when Arya got married, I never thought I’d see Ender again and now here we are, getting married. My thoughts return to the girl next to me. The one who’s been there through it all. My ride or die. I stare out at the water and the memories flood through me.

Arya and me on the dock, thirteen, sharing popsicles. The two of us sunbathing, sneaking pirate rum from her parents’ liquor cabinet and sleeping out there only to be eaten alive by misquotes. And now here we are, raising babies together.

As I stare at the lake, I think about the night Ender left me and my heart pumps harder in my chest. “My biggest fear the last few days has been him deciding this is too much for him.”

Arya smiles. “He’s not going to back out now. He loves you, Hads.”

“I know. But sometimes when I look at the lake, I think about that night.”

“I think that’s normal, but I will seriously kill my brother if he leaves again. Like I’ve already told him, I’d murder him.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Oh, so now he’s staying out of fear.”

“Nothing scares Ender.” She pauses and turns to face me, her eyes sincere. “But you not wanting him.”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“Because. It’s true.”

I’m about to ask her what she means when the door opens to the den.

“I told you I’m not wearing that,” Eddie grumbles, stomping into the den with her white dress in hand, and only wearing her panties. “No way.”

Arya and I got her a white dress as a joke, but we didn’t tell her that.

“Eddie Rose.” Arya laughs at my daughter’s horrified expression, dropping her arm from around my shoulders. “You’d look so cute in it though.”

“I said no white,” she yells, tossing the dress down. She might be six, but she’s still a stinker most days. “I don’t even like that color.”

Arya pulls out the summer dress she got for her instead. “Is this better?”

Eddie stares at the dress, one hand on her hip. “Yes, that’s better.”

While Eddie puts the dress on, I notice Ender outside with Myles now. They’re standing on the dock talking. Eddie no sooner gets her dress on and she’s running out the french doors and into her daddy’s arms.

We’re not wearing your typical wedding attire. Well, I am wearing a white dress that’s clinging to my baby bulge and my overly large breasts, but Ender’s in gray cargo shorts and a black button-down shirt. He has the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and he’s wearing his cowboy hat. Same one he had growing up. Eddie told him he had to wear it today, and it’s perfect for him. It’s perfect for us because everything about today is reminiscent of how this all started for us.

Arya hands me my cowgirl hat as I slip on my boots and my mom enters the room. “Are you girls ready?”

I smooth out my dress as I stand and smile. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” I can’t wait to tie myself to Ender in every way, but I am nervous. Maybe because I think at any second he’s going to decide this isn’t what he wants.

Our wedding is at the lake like Arya and Roman’s was, but this time it’s on my aunt Leslie’s dock. I’m sure you know why.

With the blazing sun scorching my back, my dad walks me down the dock, and the entire time I’m making my way toward my future husband, I’m thinking about every memory of us I have here.

Thirteen.“I’m not a jerk to pretty girls.”

Fourteen.“Until June….”

Fifteen.“I’ll be your first everything.”

Sixteen.“I want to kidnap you and run away from this fucking place.”

Seventeen.“You’re the only one who makes me feel good.”

Eighteen.“I’m not ready to give you up yet.”

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