Page 19 of Paper Hearts

“Everything.” I twist the strings on the outside around my index finger. “I write down thoughts, poems, all kinds of stuff. I want to be a writer.”

She flops herself down on the bed. “I hate writing and reading.”

“I love to read,” I note. “I read like five books a month. Have you gotten past the first page of the book I gave you yet?”

“Nope.” She raises her head up off the pillow and glances at the open window her mom told her to close because she’s letting all the hot air in. “Let’s go spy on your sisters.”

I stand up and tuck my journal under my pillow. “Okay.” It’s not my sisters I want to spy on. I know who’s with them and am dying to know what they’re doing by the lake. I want so desperately for Ender to come inside, but I haven’t seen him since he stole my slushy.

Sneaking downstairs and out the back sliding glass doors, Arya and I run barefoot through the thick tree line, down to the cove and hide in the trees. “Do you think there’s snakes in here?” I ask, feeling the grass hit my bare legs and realize this isn’t the smartest decision.

“Probably.” She stuffs a chocolate kiss in her mouth and shoves the wrapper in her bra. She doesn’t have any boobs yet, might as well use her bra for candy wrappers. She hands me one. “Do you see your sisters?”

I eye the bonfire and the kids sitting on logs. Naturally I notice Ender first, and then Becca. I’m disappointed to see she’s sitting on Ender’s lap. He doesn’t look at her; his attention is on the lake. With the fire lighting up his face, he looks bored to me. Annoyed maybe?

“Gross,” Arya whispers, sticking her finger in her mouth and making a gagging sound. “Why is she kissing him?”

I follow her stare to where Roman is with Kamila. They’re kissing. Like, with tongue.

“Do they like each other? I thought she likes Ender.”

“I don’t know.” There’s sadness in her tone. “She likes anyone with a dick.”

I fight back a laugh at the way she says dick. It’s spoken with such resentment I can tell she’s mad without looking at her. “Do you like him?”

She sighs and yanks out another chocolate kiss from her pocket. “Unfortunately.”

“It’s okay.” I wrap my arm around her. “You’re prettier.”

Her eyes drop to where she’s stuffing her chocolate kiss wrappers. “He’d probably like me better if I had boobs like her, or you.”

“They’re coming soon,” I assure her, never wanting anything more than to have this little chocolate-wrapper-bra-stuffing friend to grow them.

I also want my sister off Ender’s lap. I wish I would have drowned her that first day.

“Becca doesn’t even like him,” I whisper, reaching down to scratch my leg.

“He doesn’t like her.” Arya chews slowly, her eyes wide as she attempts to see through the bushes we’re hiding in.

“How do you know?” I’m curious if she’s just saying that because I did about Roman and Kamila.

She shrugs. “He doesn’t like anyone that much.”

Accept me? I want her to say accept me, but she doesn’t.

“Arya?” My heart starts pounding in my ears.

Her eyes shift to mine. “What?”

“Something slimy touched my leg.”

Neither of us move our feet, but our backs straighten. She swallows hard. “It’s not me.”

At the same time, we look down to see they are in fact, snakes in the grass.

Don’t worry, we’re not bitten, but you won’t catch us in the tall grass again.

With our hearts pounding and giggles escaping through our hands covering our mouths, Arya and I run back to the house and inside her room. Trying to control our laughter, I stare at Arya, barely able to see her eyes in the fading light. She looks like Ender when she smiles and I’m so glad I found a friend like her.

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