Page 33 of Paper Hearts

I bring my fingers to the sensitive skin. It’s pebbled and hot and probably going to be a bruise. “It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”

He doesn’t look convinced. With a grunt, Ender gets out of the truck and walks around the front. He hangs his head. “And we’re stuck in fucking mud.”

Walker drives up the road to get Theo, an idea Ender isn’t a fan of, but he has to. It’s either that or we call a tow truck.

“Great.” Ender sighs, leaning into the side of the truck, his hands in his hair, laughter breaking through his riled mood. “Look at me trying to impress you and getting us stuck.”

I stand next to him beside the truck, trying to fight off a grin because it hurts my face. “You’re trying to impress me?”

He nods and reaches over, touching my cheek. “And I broke your pretty face.” His eyes soften. “I’m sorry.”

He’s the only boy besides my dad to call me pretty. And we’re back to me wanting to smoosh our bodies together and beg him to do anything he did with Becca, only do it better to me. The scary part? I have no idea what they did, and the fact that I so desperately want him to do any of it to me, should scare me. Only it doesn’t, because with Ender, I’d let him lead me to hell, and I’d willingly follow.

“Let’s see if we can push it out,” I tell him after an hour of waiting alongside the road.

It doesn’t work and I lose my shoe in the process. “My shoe is gone.” I laugh, pointing to the mud where the tire is, along with my shoe.

Ender attempts retrieve my shoe, but it’s lodged in there tightly. Shrugging, he looks over at me. “It’s stuck. I’ll get you a new pair.” And I don’t doubt he will. “I am, however, concerned about this.” He gestured to my cheek again, cringing. “It’s swelling.” His jaw flexes. “Fucking Walker.”

“Uh, if you weren’t trying to race him, this wouldn’t have happened,” I point out, wiggling my toes in the mud. I glance down. We’re both covered in mud.

“I was trying to impress you.”

“Why?” I dare to ask. “I thought you liked Becca….” Yep. I went there.

He doesn’t meet my eyes but there’s smile on his lips. “Nope.”

He successfully avoids that conversation, doesn’t he? I want to ask, but I’m terrified to know exactly what they did.

Wiping his dirty hands on his jeans, Ender takes his shoes off and sets them in the mud next to mine. Brand-new Nike shoes destroyed. “What are you doing?”

“Now neither of us have shoes.”

I gasp. “Mine are five-dollar flip-flops. Yours are brand-new Nikes.”

“They’re just shoes, little girl.” And to him, they are. Money doesn’t mean anything to him.

I sigh, hating that he called me little girl again. “You’re dumb.”

“I’m not dumb.” He corners me against the side of his truck and for the first time, brings our bodies together, chest-to-chest, stomach-to-stomach. I’m flooded with thoughts I don’t understand, including ones of him in the shower and wanting to see him naked, and what he does in there alone. Well, I know, and I want to see for myself.

I swallow thickly. “What are you doing?”

“Take it back,” he growls, scowling at me, but it’s not anger in his features. It’s as if he’s trying to keep himself from doing something he shouldn’t. Like kissing me.

I swallow again. My throat’s so dry and I want to breathe, but I think I forgot how. “Take what back?”

“That I’m dumb,” he mumbles, breathing heavily and pressing me harder into the side of the truck. With my hands at my sides, I notice Ender reaches for them, holding each one in his. “Proving to you that material possessions mean nothing isn’t dumb. Money can’t buy happiness.”

“No, I guess it can’t.” My eyes drop to his lips—beautiful, full, kissable. I let out a breath and close my eyes, drawing my lip between my teeth. I saw Hazel do it once, right before she kissed Chandler. Maybe that’s what you’re supposed to do before you kiss someone.

Ender’s entire body stiffens, and he sucks in a sharp breath. “Hads…” He sighs, and then immediately steps back.

“What?”

“I… nothing.” It’s not nothing, but I let it go when he turns away from me and pulls at the front of his shorts.

What’s he doing? Why is he pulling at his shorts like that?

---