Page 4 of Paper Hearts

WHEN HE SAID HE DIDN’T REMEMBER

What the fuck? Did he walk right past me like I meant nothing to him?

Why, yes,yeshe did.

I stare at the space he occupied and the cloud of dust his truck leaves in the driveway. My heart wedges in my throat like it’s going to stay there for the remainder of this trip.

I can’t believe this. He’s really here? Am I dreaming?

Arya opens the door next, crying about her dress not fitting right and the color of the bridesmaid dresses being wrong. “It’s too tight and the color of your dress looks like a rusty turd!” she screams at us.

With the help of Harper and Arya’s mom, we manage to get the soon-to-be-bride headcase calmed down. We’re sitting in her old room looking over pictures from our summers spent here. That’s when Ender’s reaction starts to eat at me.

What if he knows about Eddie? Maybe that’s why he acted that way because I didn’t tell him.

I pick up a photograph of the summer Ender got his truck. I stare at his flushed cheeks and bright blues shining in the sunlight. My love for this guy, I wish it wasn’t as real as it is. Unfortunately for me, Ender doesn’t release his hold on you that easily. And now I’m reduced to photographs. Moments in time I tried to force myself to forget and never could because my greatest accomplishment in life came from him.

Does he really not remember me? Maybe he didn’t recognize me. I’m older, curvier, my hair’s shorter, darker than before, but how could he forget me? How could he have possibly forgot about our summers?

Arya sighs and stares at a photo of her and Roman. “I can’t believe I’m getting married at twenty-four.” Her eyes raise to mine. “Am I too young?”

“Too young? I’m the last person to ask about age,” I tease. She laughs it off and drops the photograph in the pile. I look down at it and notice it’s one of us on the lake our last summer here. “I think you guys are perfect for each other and your marriage is going to be filled with love.”

Her cheeks bloom with pink heat and her bright blues land on mine. “And a baby….”

The words hang between us and she smiles wider. “Arya!” I shriek. “You’re pregnant?”

She nods, biting her lip. “That’s why my dress is tighter.”

I grab her shoulders. “Does Roman know?”

Another nod. “He’s the only one. We haven’t told our parents.”

I laugh, thinking of Theo’s response. Not only does he not like Roman, but to know he knocked his only daughter up before the wedding, I imagine Roman doesn’t want that happening.

“How far along are you?”

Arya chews on her bottom lip. “Two months. I’m due January third.”

“That’s amazing. I’m so excited for you.” Her eyes remain wide, but I notice she’s on the verge of tears. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.” Her tears spill over her cheeks. “I’m emotional and I hate it.”

It’s true. Arya Londyn James, she hates to show weakness, and being emotional is weakness to her. I slide my hand down her arm and hold her hand in mine. “You’re going to make a great mother.”

She squeezes it but draws humor into her tone. “We’ll see.”

Sighing, Arya picks up a picture of us from the night we had a party in the barn when we played truth or dare.

Trying to play it cool, I ask Arya, “When did Ender get here?”

“This morning, I guess. He was here when I got in around eleven. After he and Dad got into a fight and Ender threw a bottle of wine through a window, he and Roman shared a nice hello.” Arya rolls her eyes, thumbing through the photos. “And then he went up to his room. He and Myles came down right as you were coming over.”

“So what did he say to you?” I hedge, looking for any details I can and praying she hasn’t said anything to him about Eddie.

“Nothing really. I told him it was nice to finally see him but that’s about it. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. We literally had a ten-second conversation.” Ender dropped off the face of the earth after that graduation party and joined the military, and even when he returned, he never came home. It’s as if he left and decided that part of his life was over.

I raise an eyebrow. “That’s all?”

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