Page 41 of Paper Hearts

“No he hasn’t,” Walker adds, looking down at Arya with mischievous eyes. “He’s playin’ like shit. He’s distracted all the time.” Walker’s eyes drift to my legs and he rolls his eyes.

What is he talking about? Me?

“And what would you know, asshat?” Arya takes a handful of her popcorn and tosses it back at him. “You play like shit, and,news flash, you got yourself kicked off the team.”

“I know more than you,” Walker teases. This time he gets up, moves down the wooden bleachers two feet to get out of her swinging range. “All you’re doin’ is watching Roman.”

Arya’s face falls like she’s going to cry, and I feel bad for her, but that’s Walker, fueling any fire where he can get a spark out of. Throwing her hair up in a messy bun, Arya stands and takes off after Walker around the dugouts and down toward right field along the fence line.

Kamila giggles when Ender’s up to bat. She whistles at him, and he looks up but then turns away from her and toward me. Our eyes lock. He traps me in his gaze, so bright, alive, wild, and I take a deep breath, swallowing the thick air. I think about how his mouth feels trailing up the side of my neck.

Unfortunately, Kamila cheering for him has me thinking of them. His eyes shift to hers, and I imagine the two of them together and if they’re having sex. Arya says they’re not, but does she know? Is he hiding it from her?

I hate that Kamila’s here. It’s bad enough she comes up to the lake house sometimes, but I didn’t want to see her on the one night I was allowed to see Ender outside of the lake. But this is his town, his friends, his life. I’m the summer girl, and at best, just a friend. So I suck it up, hold my tongue, and smile at him anytime his attention shifts to mine.

Never missing a beat, Ender taps the fence with the bat as he walks by, my eyes drawn to long gray-clad legs and black cleats. I smile at him and he winks. With my arms resting on my knees, I rub my chin against my cotton hoodie when the crisp spring night tickles my goose-bumped skin.

Staring in the distance, it’s Ender who holds my attention as I watch him square up for the pitch. The contact he makes with the ball catches me off guard, and my gaze is quickly shifted into deep right field when the ball hits the fence but doesn’t go over. Ender’s rounding second when they finally reach the ball. By the time the throw lands at home plate, he’s sliding in.

He stands and waits for the call only to have the umpire bellow, “Out!”

Ender’s in his face immediately telling him he’s blind and to go fuck himself. He spends the rest of the game on the bench.

Kamila jumps to her feet, along with her two friends, elbows-locked and enthusiastic over his in-the-park home run. It takes her a good five minutes to realize Ender actually got tagged out.

The game ends on a two-to-one win for Ender’s team. While the team celebrates near the dugout, I lean back again and watch Kamila as she stands and walks over to Ender. He doesn’t acknowledge her, but instead talks to his coach.

Arya and I stand next to the fence, away from the other girls watching them. “Text your mom. See if you can spend the night.”

I frown. “Already did. She said no. We have to head back tonight.”

Her bottom lip jets out. “Damn.”

When my mom pulls up in the parking lot, honking her horn, Ender jogs to catch up with me before I reach the end of the fence line. “Hads!” he calls out, his metal baseball cleats clicking against the pavement. And to my surprise, he’s still wearing his catchers gear, minus the helmet.

Arya rolls her eyes and hugs me. “See you in a few months, right?”

I nod and squeeze her tightly. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Arya walks toward Roman and Walker near the dugouts, leaving me alone with Ender. I want to ask him if Kamila’s his girlfriend, but fear holds my words inside. Maybe I don’t need to know. Maybe I can remain oblivious to it all. Would that be so bad?

He steps closer, his eyes so bright and consuming. I reach up and wrap my arms around his shoulders. He smiles and holds me closer to his chest, his head buried in my neck.

My entire body breaks out in shivers and I fight through the need to wrap my legs around him like I did in the water that day. “Good game,” I breathe out when he fists my hoodie at the small of my back to hold me closer.

“Thanks for coming,” he whispers, his lips fluttering on my skin. He presses a kiss to the curve of my neck. Just one. It takes every ounce of self-control I have not to kiss him in front of everyone.

Letting go, he steps back, and I hear Kamila call his name. He looks over his shoulder at her, waves her off and then turns back to me. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah.” I chew on my bottom lip, shifting my stance. The scent of wet grass surrounds me, and I sigh, wishing I didn’t have to leave.

His eyes dip to my lips and then find mine again, his breathing evening out. “You can’t spend the night?”

“No.” I frown, trying to breathe normally. “My mom won’t let me.” I’ve never hated my mom more than I do in this moment. If I spent the night, would he kiss me again? Would we do other things? “And you’re there, so she probably thinks I’m going to do something stupid.”

He chuckles and runs his hand through his hair. “You wouldn’t be sleeping in Arya’s bed, that’s for sure.”

My cheeks heat. I don’t know what he means by that. Swallowing over the lump in my throat, I blurt, “Do you regret it?” There’s a tightness in my chest I hadn’t expected as the words spill from my lips. Biting the inside of my cheek, I force myself to stay calm and not act my age.

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