Page 42 of Paper Hearts

Ender tilts his head. “Regret what?”

“Kissing me.” My eyes shift to Kamila in the background who is still calling his name. “Is she your girlfriend?”

Ender smirks, and my breath catches. He shakes his head, touching his palm gently to my cheek. “No, she’s not. And I don’t regret anything I’ve done with you.”

This feeling, one spiraling inside me, coiling tighter around my heart, hates him for controlling my emotions the way he does, and loving him just the same. I’m not sure if I can trust Ender. In fact, I know I shouldn’t, but it doesn’t stop him from trying.

His brow furrows and he covers my mouth with his, kissing me. Not just any kiss. His tongue sweeps the seam of my lips and I open my mouth. His right hand touches my cheek as he shifts his feet and backs me against the fence. Cool metal presses into my back, but it’s the heat of the one who’s holding my body to his that holds me in the present.

Pulling back when someone yells for him, Ender turns his head to look, and I catch sight of his eyes. They’re wild and alive. He swallows and turns his attention back to me. I glance at who said his name and realize Kamila is watching us.

She glares at me, or him, but I smile, knowing he did that on purpose. Maybe to prove to me she means nothing and I’m the one he wants. I’m not entirely sure. But when our eyes meet again, he smirks. “Now you see why I can’t be alone with you.”

“I suppose. Maybe that’s why my mom said no.” I smile, rolling my eyes. His stare feels intimate, and I can’t break eye contact. Can’t look away.

He leans in and whispers, “Until June…”

I nod. “Until June.”

17

WHEN HE SNUCK ME OUT OF MY ROOM

My parents are officially separated. The civility surrounding their pending divorce leaves me with little doubt they’re still in love. In all fairness, they do love each other, but I know the long hours and distant souls created what they never thought would happen when they said those sacred vows. Separate lives. A place where when they’re together, they’re never really together.

With the separation comes freedom for us Hayes girls. Hazel moves to Jacksonville with a guy named Javier, and Brenna is now living in Atlanta with a few friends, working on starting her own boutique store. Becca graduated high school and ran away with a biker named Lucca. I hope they wreck and she gets road rash. I’m kidding. Kinda of. Harper decides instead of hanging at the lake, she’s going with Dad for a few weeks, driving him batshit crazy I’m sure.

The last day of school finally arrives, and I’m so excited. I bounce through the halls at school without a care in the world. I’m in anticipation mode, waiting for Aunt Leslie to pick me up at the house for my first summer alone. Freaking alone! Can you believe it? My parents aren’t coming, sisters, nobody. It will be just me and my aunt.

And the best part? She has to work days, so I’ll be at the lake all day, alone, with Ender and Arya.

Fist pump the freaking air, I’m a free girl. I have plans, people. Amazing independent plans and I might even get dry humped this year. You never know.

I can’t wait to lay on the dock all day, eat slow-cooked Southern food and drink sweet tea mixed with whiskey. I’m dying for long, hot nights and sun-kissed skin. Sunburns and sleeping until noon, cruising the back roads in a lowered ’56 Ford. That’s what I live for.

* * *

Aunt Leslie picksme up around seven and it’s a five-hour drive to the lake. When I get to the lake, it’s past midnight, so late that no one is up, and every light in the James house is off. I figure I’ll see everyone in the morning, so I head to bed.

Once in bed, I smile. This is the first time I’ve ever been to my aunt’s house alone and had my own room here.

I try hard not to think about Ender. He’s constantly on my mind. Even when I try not to think about him, I do.

My eyelids are heavy when I hear a pinging at the window.

Rolling to the side, I try to ignore the voice, only then it comes louder. “Hads, wake up!” It’s a whisper and then a full-on yell that I’m sure wakes Aunt Leslie.

I open my eyes enough to see Ender’s shadow against the window. My eyes widen.

He laughs, and I sit up, hoping my aunt doesn’t hear him sneaking into my room. After closing my window, he makes his way over to my bed. Barefoot and dressed in cargo shorts—yep completely shirtless—he kneels and holds a finger over his lips. “Come with me.” He motions over his shoulder to the window.

I nod. “Where are your clothes?”

“You’re lucky I’m wearing shorts. I sleep naked.” He looks at my skimpy shorts and tank top. “I like your pajamas though.”

My cheeks burn and he holds out his hand. I take it, slipping from messy sheets into the warm Georgia night lit by the stars. Handing me his black Raiders hoodie he left on the ground, I pull it to my face, smelling the chest. “Where are we going?”

“The dock.” He leads me down a familiar path to my aunt’s dock. It’s covered by a thick tree line, more secluded than the James property. Ender sits down on the edge, his feet in the water and pats the space beside him.

---