Page 43 of Paper Hearts

I sit, breathing in deeply and watching the stars above us. “I thought today would never arrive.”

He smiles and lies back. “You and me both.”

I join him, the dock still warm from the summer sun that bakes it all day. With my toes in the water, I think about the snake Arya and I near the dock earlier. “Um, if a snake bites my toes, I’m gonna be so mad.”

Ender laughs. “I’ll bite you if you’re not careful,” he says, lightly nipping at my shoulder.

I grin, watching the moonlight dance on his face. “Did you miss me?”

He lifts his head, his eyes bright even in the darkness. He’s seventeen now and it shows. There’s stubble on his jaw, his hair’s longer in the front and falling into his eyes, but he has that same smile. He leans in slowly and whispers, “I miss you, even now.”

I believe him in that I’m-fifteen type of way, but I do believe him.

I stare at the dark ripples in the water. “I uh… do you kiss Kamila like you kiss me?”

His brow furrows but he doesn’t look over at me. “No.” And he doesn’t expand on the word and I’m left digging for more.

“What do you do with her?” I hate that I’m even asking these questions, but I can’t help it. I’m dying to know where I stand.

“Like what?” Laughter falls from his parted lips, and he props himself up on his elbow, rolling toward me.

It’s a good thing it’s dark because he can’t see how red my face is. “I don’t know.”

He shakes his head, watching me carefully before narrowing his eyes. The intensity of his expression makes warmth spread up the insides of my thighs. “If you can’t say it, maybe you shouldn’t be asking.” His voice lowers and there’s a sudden playful edge to his expression. “I bet you want to know if she gives me head, don’t you?”

“What?” I laugh, my face so hot I think I have a fever. “What the hell is that?”

“Head.” His eyes twinkle with amusement, his lips quirking at the corners. “You know, sucking my dick.”

“No. Oh my God.” I gasp and cover my face with my hands. “I don’t want to know if she sucks…” I motion between his legs. “That.”

He starts laughing. “You shouldn’t ask if you can’t even say the word.”

I drop my hands and hold my chin higher. “I can say it.”

His jaw tightens and he leans in, our faces inches apart. “Say it then.”

“Say what?” I know what he wants to hear, but I don’t want to say it.

“Dick,” he breathes, the word shaking and his breathing heavier than before. “I wanna hear you say it?”

“Why?”

His hand touches my face and his thumb brushes my lower lip. “Because I bet it’s sexy coming off your sweet, innocent lips.”

I stare at him, and his eagerness provokes me. The word is weak on my lips, but I whisper, “Dick,” in the space between us, rolling to face him. “Does she?” My stomach is full of butterflies, my heart racing so fast it feels it’s trying to beat for us both.

He blinks slowly and in the next second, he takes his other hand and touches my stomach, trailing his fingertips on the hem of the hoodie. “Would you if I asked you to?”

“What?”

His hooded eyes meet mine. “If I asked you to suck my dick, would you?”

Something happens between my legs. Tingles. Anticipation. I don’t know, but it’s weird and I want to straddle him. I think about it, but I chicken out. “I don’t know how,” I admit.

“I could show you.” Ender’s breathing intensifies and I notice his chest is rising and falling rapidly. “I bet if I slid your panties down, you’d let me do anything I wanted, wouldn’t you?”

I nod, because I’m naïve and trust him in ways I probably shouldn’t.

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