Page 50 of Paper Hearts

I sit up my bed and search the darkness for her. “Left. He and Theo got into it.”

Arya sighs and steals one of my pillows and a blanket, wrapping it around her shoulders like a cape, and sits on the bean bag. “They fight constantly.”

“Does he fight with Greer and Myles like that?”

“No. I mean, yeah, he was hard on Greer, but Greer was always obedient. Ender pushes his buttons on purpose.”

“And Myles?”

“Myles still thinks our dad hung the moon.” Arya sets her phone down and sighs. “He hasn’t figured out that he can be an asshole to everyone yet.”

“What do you think they were fighting about?”

“Ender and my dad?”

I nod and reach back to adjust my pillow. “Yeah.”

“Ender got his license suspended over a speeding ticket.” Arya yawns, shaking her head. “Pretty sure that has something to do with it.”

Every time I think I’m getting to know Ender, I realize I don’t know anything about him. I didn’t know he got a ticket or that his license was suspended. He took off in his truck earlier. I bet that’s only going to make Theo angrier with him, but it’s just like Ender to push his buttons until he can’t anymore. Until Theo’s so mad at him he tells him to leave.

“Is he mean to you like that?”

“No.” Arya yawns again as her cell phone screen lights up and then fades. “I’m the princess.”

I hurt for Ender. I wish his dad could see how hard he tries to be accepted by him.

21

WHEN HE SNUCK INTO MY ROOM

It’s late when Ender returns to the lake, whiskey on his breath and wild in his eyes. He’s in my room while the rest of the world is sleeping, urging me to be quiet. Arya is sound asleep on the floor and how Ender snuck in here without her knowing is beyond me.

“You didn’t tell me you got your license suspended.” I can’t see it clearly, but the side of his face is cut up. I can feel the welt on his temple when I touch his face. “What happened to your face?”

“Shhh,” he says, fighting off laughter, his dark hair falling and tickling my forehead. “I’m a dead man if they catch me in here.”

I run my fingertips over his shoulders, chest, and down his ribcage to his hips, and he smirks. “Aunt Leslie’s a deep sleeper.”

“Arya’s not.” His hand finds my mouth, his palm pressing to my lips as his find my jaw. “And you can’t seem to be quiet.”

I smile around his hand. I know what it feels like to hear him whisper Hads when his lashes flicker. I know the soft groan that falls from his lips when my hands slip lower than he’s allowed, but I don’t know what it’s like to make him feel that special feeling. You know, what Arya had been talking about. I want to, but heck, I just figured out what dry humping is. One thing at a time, right?

As the air conditioner kicks on, moving the curtain in a gentle wave, Ender grips the sheets beside my head, groaning into my neck. He’s lying on top of me, coasting his nose along my throat. Releasing the sheets, he touches my face as his lips flutter at my ear. He’s panting, his breathing all over the place, and I can’t get enough. I want to entice more reactions from him.

He kisses everywhere but my lips, and the valley between my breasts becomes his resting place. His cheek presses against them before gliding along the inside of my arms, lower, down to my bare legs. He kisses the inside of my thighs, the length of my leg until he’s at my center. I wonder what it feels like to have his mouth on me. There. We both shift, breathing harder, because he’s there, for the first time. Smiling, the moon lights up the side of his face and he pushes my tank up my stomach, his fingers at the edge of my panties. “Would you let me?” he whispers, this fingers soft and gentle, yet teasing.

I squirm, holding onto his wrists. “Let you what?”

“Whatever I want…”

Such a loaded answer. My legs are open and he’s hovering over me, waiting for my response. “I don’t know.” And I don’t. I have no idea what he’s referring to.

And then it happens, something I will never forget. He slides up my body, between my legs, hard, pushing against me with his lips on mine. While I’ve straddled him before, I’ve never been given his weight. I cry out against his kiss, bending around him, the ache intensifying when he moves, thrusting against me. My entire body and his start sweating. There’s a heat between us, stronger than the night’s air, one I hadn’t realized—hadn’t comprehended—until he moves again, grinding his erection between my legs at just the right spot.

I gasp and he covers my mouth. “Shut up,” he growls, chuckling in my ear. “Or she’s going to hear us.”

I’ll be honest. I love the forbidden aspect driving me deeper and the fear of getting caught sends my heart racing. My eyes wide, searching the darkness for any movement on the floor by Arya. But still, I don’t, can’t let him stop because it feels so damn good.

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