Page 67 of Paper Hearts

Sitting on the dock, feet hanging off the edge, I’m straddling his lap. He gathers my hair over my shoulder in his fist, kissing the side of my neck, and sighs. “You taste like summer, and I crave it nine months out of the year.”

I stare up at the stars above us as his hands travel up my ribs, under my shirt to my breasts.

“Do you remember last summer, Hads?” he whispers underneath my chin.

I nod, never forgetting, and rock against his hips, my knees smash into the dock.

With no hesitation, he takes control of my hips and drags me back and forth on his erection. “Did it feel good?”

“Yes,” I whisper, my heartbeat speeding, stomach dropping, breath quick.

His voice shakes. “Can I do it again?”

I nod, again, my lids fluttering, my eyes so heavy, my body aching for more. Gripping onto his T-shirt, I let him take me higher and higher. “Am I old enough?”

“For what?” he grunts, hunching forward and holding me closer, desperate movements breaking his words apart.

“To have sex.” My words shake.

He chuckles, shaking his head. “I can’t.” His answer sounds pained, as if he wants to so bad.

“Why?”

“You’re too young.”

“I’malwaystoo young,” I whine, grinding into him faster.

His voice is harsh, just as winded as mine. “Soon.”

“You keep saying that.” Licking my lips, I watch his contorted face in the moonlight. “I need more.”

His mouth inches closer to mine. “Do you know what you’re asking for?”

I search the darkness around us. We’re alone, as always, but that’s not the problem. The problem is I don’t know what I’m asking for. I know what he shows me, and it’s never enough. Not when it comes to him.

My hips move, needing tingling, thrilling movements and this boy with bright blue eyes who guides me to the edge where I fall. “You’re so sexy,” he gasps, watching me come, claiming my mouth again. I can’t get enough of him, but I also know his need hasn’t been fulfilled. He’s still grinding into me, his movements eager, his breathing all over the place.

I stop moving and Ender takes a hold of my hips, dragging me back in forth. My need’s been met, but his is still there. I place my hands on his chest, slide off him and onto the planks beneath me. He stares at me, like he can’t figure out what I’m doing. His chest heaves, his erection evident through his shorts. I run my fingers down the seam of his zipper. “Can I?”

He shakes his head. “We can’t….”

“No, I mean, can I put it in my mouth?”

He stares at me. Blinking slowly. He swallows. “My dick?” He chuckles. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Yes?”

“Hads.” He drops his head forward.

“You don’t want me to?”

He runs his hand through his hair. “I uh, well, yeah. I want you to, but you….” His words trail off when I reach for him again. This time I get his zipper undone. He eases up onto his knees and I’m able to slide his shorts down enough.

I don’t know anything about giving a blow job, besides the video Arya and I found on the internet. So I do exactly what I saw the girls doing. The instant I have him in my mouth, I realize I underestimated his size. I’ll tell you this much. I suck at it. At least I think so, but Ender probably feels differently because he’s all for it. Despite me gagging a few times and having no clue if I’m supposed to use my tongue, or my lips, or both. Am I supposed to suck or blow? I should have done more research.

Regardless of my lack of experience, Ender cradles my head in his hands, carefully, hunching over me. “Holy shit,” he gasps as I glide my lips and tongue over his dick. “I’m gonna come. Do you know what happens when I come?”

I nod, though I’m not exactly sure what happens. I know liquid comes from his penis. I’ve seen it happen. But what it tastes like, how much…? Nope, clueless but eager. When he comes, the grunt that leaves his parted lips is the sexiest sounds I’ve heard him make. When he’s finished pulsing in my mouth, I sit up and stare at him with wide eyes, unprepared with what’s in my mouth. What do I do now? They didn’t cover this part.

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