Page 71 of Paper Hearts

Arya sits down next to me, flipping from her back to her stomach. “Have you thought anymore about UGA?”

I have thought about college a lot, and I want to go where Arya is going, but part of me is completely dependent on Ender’s plans. I want to be with him and like it or not, if he asked me not to go to college and be with him, I would. That’s how far I’d let him control me. And that’s not his fault. He hasn’t asked me to drop everything for him.

I hear his footsteps before I can see him and know by my heartbeat, he’s behind me. “When did you get here?” he asks, sitting beside me, his hair messy under his cowboy hat.

“Couple hours ago.” I squint into the sun, looking over at his arms hanging over his knees, his eyes on the lake. “Wanna get wet?”

He nods and we both stand. Arya snorts. “Fine, don’t ask me, bitches.”

I roll my eyes. “Get your ass in the water.”

With the Top 40 playing from a speaker on the dock, we wade around in the water on rafts, drinking from cups to hide the liquor in them. Ender’s beside me on a raft, staring at the water with confusion on his face. I dip my fingers into the water and flick the drops toward his face. He smiles but no words. “What’s wrong?”

His eyes remain on the water. “Have you ever lied to anyone?”

My heart sinks, speculating what this is leading to.

“I once lied about killing my sister’s hamster by accidentally putting him in the dryer.”

“How’d you do that?”

“I had the hamster on the floor, playing with it, when Hazel came home early from school. I was like six or seven and wasn’t supposed to be playing with it. I ended up putting him in the laundry basket beside my bed.”

Ender’s hands dip into the water. “So what, he suffocated or something?”

“No. I forgot about him and went downstairs.”

“And then he suffocated?” Ender sighs, as if this isn’t where the conversation was meant to go, but he’s following along despite that.

“No.” I find it hard to keep a straight face at how intently he’s listening to my story. “I put the laundry downstairs and somehow he went through the washer and dryer.”

Ender makes a face. “I bet that was a mess to clean up.”

“It was awful.” I laugh, remembering me digging that poor animal out of the dryer and crying “Oh pinky” every time I picked another hair ball out of the dryer.

“So where’s the lie?”

I shrug. “I told Hazel Mom did it.”

He chuckles, his chin resting on his forearm.

I swallow over the lump forming in my throat. “Have you ever lied?”

His smile fades. “Yeah.”

“When?”

“Too often to remember.” Reaching forward, his eyes scan the lake, then land on mine as he takes a firm grip on my raft. He pulls me closer, bright blue eyes on mine as water drips from his hair. “I missed you.”

I kiss his hand resting on mine. “I missed you too.”

* * *

The sun has set,and the bonfire lights up the night. Ender’s next to me, hood up, drinking vodka from a jar. Country music bellows through the speaker on the ground.

With the group around us, nobody pays us any attention when I crawl onto Ender’s lap, my hands on his face, relishing the feeling of his hands on me.

I turn to face him, straddling his lap in the camping chair, wrapping my arms around him, my head just below his chin. My knees are shaking, my heart pounding as I breathe in his scent of summer and lake water. I bring my lips to his jaw, his stubble scratchy on my skin.

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