Page 75 of Paper Hearts

“You passed out and I sat next to you. Walker tried to take you inside the house and I… don’t know. Something about that guy. I mean, I left for a fucking minute to get a beer, before you’d passed out and he was trying to get you away from everyone else. So I made sure I didn’t leave you.”

“Thanks.” I swipe another round of tears away.

His eyes lift to the house and he looks… nervous. “I don’t trust Walker.”

“I wouldn’t either,” I mumble, chewing on my thumb as tears roll down my cheeks. “I don’t know what to do. He’s really mad at me.”

Carter sighs. “I’ll try talking to him.”

“Thanks, but I don’t think he’s going to listen to you.”

His lips flatten. “He won’t, but I’ll try.”

Carter leaves me and I find Arya again. She’s making out with Roman in the kitchen and covered in whip cream.

I cover my face with my hands, laughing and back away from them. “I didn’t see anything.”

Arya’s laughter rings through the house as I make my way up to Ender’s room. I lay on the bed, my head on his pillow, and stare up at the ceiling fan circling slowly. I imagine us in the bed, all the moments we’ve shared together, and I hate that I broke his trust again. But am I wrong to question him sometimes? He gives me barely anything to go off in regards to his feelings and when I make assumptions, he treats me as if I’m a child for not seeing his true intentions. I don’t know what he won’t tell me.

* * *

I must have fallenasleep because when I wake up, the sun is lower, shinning into Ender’s room and he’s standing at the end of the bed, his back to me.

I sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “Where’d you go?”

His body tenses at my words and he turns toward me. His chest rises with a breath. “Atlanta.”

“And you came back?”

He nods, his face contorting, his emotions evident. “I uh…” He stops, pauses, and draws in a breath. “Couldn’t leave you.” His knees hit the edge of the bed and then he’s hovering over me, his breathing heavier. “I know you didn’t.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“But he would have,” he adds, shaking his head. “Hads, you have to be more careful around him.”

“Carter wouldn’t do that.”

His brow furrows deeper and his arms tremble as he holds himself up. “I’m not talking about him.”

I’m lost in what he’s talking about until it hits me. “Walker?”

He nods and there’s panic on his face. “He would have if it hadn’t been for Carter. He told me.” He swallows hard, his breathing uneven. “I’d kill him if he touched you.”

My heart pounds, searching Ender’s eyes. I think about Carter’s nerves this morning and Walker’s sinister smile. “Why would Walker do that?”

I’m not given an answer. Instead, he rolls to the side and holds me against his chest, as if he doesn’t want to tell me. Or can’t.

Some things are left unsaid, like a chapter in a book you want to skip because you know how it ends. It’s there waiting because you folded the edge as a reminder to skip it, but it’s not going anywhere. It’s waiting for you to come back when you’re ready to hear the rest of the story.

30

WHEN HE TOOK ME TO PROM

Fall comes and my life turns back to normal. Gone are the late nights by the fire and sneaking around with Ender and my days revolve around studying, finals and working. I like my job, it gives me a sense of freedom I never had before.

I talk to Ender nearly every day but he’s busy with work and long hours. He says the money’s nice, but I can tell it’s hard on him.

Arya and Roman start dating. Again, or maybe it’s new, nobody really knows except Theo doesn’t approve. Sound familiar? It seems like disapproving dads are some kind of rite of passage.

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