Page 30 of Between the Stars

He knows it’s the truth. I’m the one who instigated this. At that concert last fall, I kissed him first. And every other time before, I’ve made the first move and he followed.

While he lights the fire, I’m hoping the spider is in there dying a slow death and I wander around the cabin noticing there’s a few personal photographs on the walls, but it’s essentially bare. I peek my head out the patio doors. “Is this like an Airbnb or something?”

“No.” Jace places another log on the fire. “Friends only.”

I glance over my shoulder at the sounds of crackling and notice he’s gotten the fire going. A steady stream of white smoke rises, swirling into the night air. I return outside, the frigid night air not as cold with the heat of the fire. Anxiety works through me at the realization I didn’t think any of this through. It’s like I heard his voice the other day and all my ability to be rational jumped ship. I swallow and draw in a breath, moving closer to the wall. I stand in the doorway, my back pressed to the frame. “Are we staying here tonight?”

Jace stands, wiping his hands on the front of his jeans and then shrugs out of his jacket to drape it over the back of one of the chairs outside. “That depends.” He steps closer, his eyes on the stone patio and then slowly dragging up my body. I anticipate his touch next, but it doesn’t come. He holds out, his breath a fraction away from mine. “Are you going to run away from me?”

My back hits the metal frame and sends a shiver through me. I reach out and steady myself. “I” my words falter. “I don’t know what I’m doing here.” It’s the truth. I don’t. It’s like every other time I see Jace. He looks my way, and my resolve is weakened.

My heart beats steadily, waiting. Even if I walk out of here now, and back to Griff, it doesn’t mean my heart is going along for the ride. I’m lost in his hungry green, and no matter how many times I tell myself to give up, I still find my way back into his arms.

He licks his lips, a smile held at bay. He takes one more step and his warmth is aligned with mine. “The girl I know…”

I touch his chest and though I’m careful and my touch is light, his heartbeat is wild and unrelenting. Firelight dances on his cheeks, his eyes wild with intention. “The girl you knew… doesn’t exist anymore.”

His scent hits me again. He trails his hands over my hips, fingertips on my spine. It’s a hopeless thing, me trying to resist him. “I don’t believe that.” His voice rakes through me, warm, rough, unrelenting. He’s not going to let me make excuses. He knows me. I did come here for a reason. “She’s in there. And wild as ever with the right guy.”

Tears tighten the back of my throat as the truth slips from my parted lips. “I still love you… That will never change.”

His jaw tightens and he swallows, as if he didn’t want to hear those words, but knows they’re so true. “I hope it doesn’t.” His words send a rush of desire through me and before I can say anything else, his lips find mine, desperate to leave his mark on me.

Just as I remember, his mouth is hot and needy against mine, eager to taste every part of me. I grip the back of his head and pull him into me, sucking his tongue into my mouth. He groans, his lips parting over mine.

This kiss, I could describe it for you and give you everything you want to hear. How he tastes, the rightness of his touch, all of it, but it’d never fully do it justice, because to understand kisses like this, you have to be present. You need to experience them for yourself. They’re the kind that remind you: this is how passion should feel. Your heart beats faster, your breath halts, and your mind loses every other thought.

Nerves fire rapidly and touch is your only indication it’s really happening and you’re not imagining it.

With a gasp, I break the kiss before he can take it further, knowing I need to get these last words out. I push on his chest, but he doesn’t back up. “Jace, I have—”

He’s breathing heavily and swallows over a grunt, clearing his throat. “A fiancé. I know that. I’m well aware of the fact that you’re not mine.” He leans closer, curves around me, and runs his nose up the side of my neck. I shake, squirm, but his touch doesn’t relent. “You’ve never been mine. But when has that ever stopped me?”

He’s right. It hasn’t.

“You weren’t mine freshman year when I took your virginity in the barn. You weren’t mine sophomore year. Homecoming. The bed of my truck. And you certainly weren’t mine senior year when I showed you how good coming on my face could feel, were you?” I don’t answer him, and his eyes darken, or maybe it’s the desire in them bleeding out. “Something tells me you weren’t mine to have in the back seat of an Impala either….” His words trail off, waiting, but I can’t give him an answer. It’s true. I wasn’t his, but it never stopped either one of us. Anytime I’m near him, morals go out the damn window and I’m running on desire, desperate to remember what flying feels like. That’s the only way to describe what it’s like in his presence.

Fire spreads through my belly and my cheeks heat. I blink, suck in a breath, and attempt to answer him, but I can’t. I’m drowning in memories of this boy taking me to the edge of my will and holding me there, waiting to see what I’ll do next. He’s good at this part. In fact, I think this is what really gets him off.

Reality surfaces but I push it back. I don’t want to think about anything outside of this with him. I wish I could say I know what I’m doing, but I don’t. Not when I’m next to Jace. I’ve never been able to resist him. He shows up and I fall every time. And believe it or not, I know what I’m doing is wrong. But why does bad feel so damn good?

He holds my face in his hands, searching my eyes. “What do you want?”

“I’m not sure anymore.” Do you know how hard it is to look emotionally confident around Jace? Umm. Impossible.

The fire cracks and pops beside us and my back weakens its posture and I sag into him. He holds on tighter, refusing to let me move. “Don’t lie.” His breath hits my face with the words: “My little back-seat taker always knows what she wants.”

I laugh at his nickname but notice he looks like he knows at any minute I could stop him, and he’d let me.

He shifts his position, his arms wrapped around my middle. I can feel his breath against my stomach. My heart races, my whole body shaking. Angling his face, he looks up at me, his expression apologetic and sadder than I’ve seen in a while. He repeats his question for a second time. “What do you want?”

What do I want?

My life is perfect. Upcoming dream wedding, a mansion in the hills of Nashville, a promising career in pediatric nursing. And not to mention, a wealthy Southern fiancé.

But that man miles away in Tennessee, he’s not the one who paints a scene of passion. He’s not the cocky, arrogant, and very much forbidden man my father despises. He’s not my brother’s best friend. He’s not the one who gave me years and let me go just as easily. And he’s certainly not the one I’m with now as thunder rolls through the canyons and his voice dances along exposed curves.

I look up, the sky burning brighter, stronger, like his love, and I find myself torn between the stars. As the light fades, the smell of smoke in my hair, the flames piercing through a chalky night, his darkness stains my heart.

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