“I’ll never stop when it comes to you,” Jace whispers into my skin. I watch his face, the fall of his eyes, and I’m met with the dark hallow that haunts me. He’s not the one I should pick, but he’s the only one who can fuck me without touching me. “Is this what you want?” he asks, waiting. It’s always been my choice.
“Yes.” My answer is sure, even if I’m not.
His weight shifts and I’m met with familiarity I crave but doesn’t exist outside of us. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist as he holds me against the door frame. Jace’s lips flutter over my collarbone to my neck, but he doesn’t say anything. I want to ask him what he’s thinking, or even feeling, but I don’t. Can’t.
He stops though and hesitates. “Are you sure? You can change your mind.”
But I can’t. Not when it comes to Jace. It’s impossible. I hadn’t realized how badly I needed him until this moment. “I’m sure.”
That’s all it takes for him to twist and hold me against the outdoor countertop next to the patio doors. He sets me on the cold stone and a shiver works through me. He wraps his hands around my waist and yanks me to the edge where I’m met with his hardness. I arch my back, moaning, and wiggle against him.
“Fuck,” he pants, working my jacket off, his hands searching for bare skin. Whatever is about to happen, it’s desperate and uncontrolled. Pent-up passion begging to be relieved.
My hands are at the nape of his neck, refusing to let go as I suck his tongue into my mouth drawing a long groan from his parted lips. Without breaking the kiss, he strains closer, rising up on his tippy-toes to grind his cock against me. I revel at the sensations, the spark of desire that stirs inside me.
He breaks the kiss with a groan, and I smile, gathering my hair over one shoulder. “Sorry about that.” I don’t know why I’m apologizing. What am I apologizing for?
His mouth nibbles on the tender skin, his fingertips sinking into the swell of my hips and gripping me tighter. “Don’t say you’re sorry. Not around me.” He keeps me where he wants me, his hard cock between my legs. I shiver at the crisp air between us, my heart beating a million miles an hour. “Do you want to go inside where it’s warmer?”
“I’m, uh…,” I whisper, and for a brief moment, his eyes flash with an emotion I don’t recognize on him. Is he nervous?
His chest is moves rapidly inside his shirt, a quick breath as he keeps his grip on me. I see his Adam’s apple roll in his throat. My body arches toward him as he laughs against my skin. “You might be having seconds thoughts, but your body says otherwise.”
We stare at one another. This is where I can turn back. I can make the decision to not ruin my life in Tennessee, but if you’ve ever been held in Jace’s arms, you know that’s not an option. One look into the hungry, penetrating green eyes and your resolve vanishes. His hand comes up and he strokes my cheek. His face is suddenly serious. “You can say no.”
My lips part, my decision hanging between us. He waits, his brow furrowed, anticipating my denial. Fire cracks around us, the pungent tickle of the smoke stirring in my throat. “I want you,” I assure him.
He waits though. Silent. Unmoving.
He draws in a breath, and another, as if he’s waiting for the “however” part. I lean into him, my mouth on his and assure him there’s no “but” coming.
Realization hits him and his reaction follows, breathing heavier. He holds me closer, his cold hands needy and controlling as he begins to fumble with the button of his jeans. No words are said. I do the same, unzipping my jeans and wiggling them down my hips while trying not to fall off the countertop.
Jace helps me out and I watch him as he slowly slides them down my legs and off. They’re tossed on the ground, and I pray to fucking God that monster spider is dead and not crawling inside my jeans.
Speaking of monster, Jace has hooked his hands around the waist band of his jeans and they’re around his ankles now. Okay, yep, his cock is just as massive as I remember and ready to go.
The corner of his mouth twitches. “Missed me?”
You have no idea.
One of his hands find my hip and the other holds his cock in his hand as he steps forward and aligns himself with me. I gasp when he brushes the head over my slick folds, rubbing me in the most perfect way.
His forehead hits my shoulder. I groan into his ear as he moves again, this time sliding the length of him along my clit, every inch silky smooth and scorching hot. “I don’t have a condom,” he admits, his words muffled by the crackling of the fire over his shoulder. I watch the flames, wanting to slow time down, but knowing there’s no slow with us. It’s always been like this.
“It’s okay.” I’ve never used a condom with Jace. Everyone else, yes, but him, no. I can’t tell you why, and I wonder if it’s true for him. “Do you use protection with everyone else?”
“Everyone else?” He snorts, amusement in his eyes and lifting his lips at the corners. “What makes you think there are others?” His hands move from between us to my hips. He controls our connection to one another, not allowing himself to enter.
I touch his cheeks, the rough stubble scraping against my palms. “I’m sure there are.”
That serious expression returns. “There’s not,” he snaps. “Hasn’t been in a long time.” And then he swallows hard, as if admitting that has left him vulnerable and at my mercy. He never could be around me though. “Do you use it with him?”
I notice he’s yet to say his name. And maybe that’s by design and reality hits me. I know what this means, and the decisions I’ll have to make because of it, but it’s not enough to stop me. I nod. “We always do.”
I don’t know why, but Jace’s brow furrows, his breath heavy, eyes possessive. “Abbi….” He shakes his head.
He’s waiting again. Scared maybe.