I want to believe that I won’t, but how can I when I don’t even know what’s happening between us? I’ve been here before with Jace.Manytimes. And not once has he asked me to stay. In fact, it’s been me asking where we stand and Jace avoiding it. So before you go and say that I’m being irrational and I should leave Griff for Jace, I wish you knew our past. You should have been there when I begged him not to let me go. Or a year later, when I was ready to drop out of college for love, and he wouldn’t let me. This guy, he’s a memory I don’t mess with, until I did by coming back here, and I don’t know what to do next, other than think maybe I should have left this part of my life where it belonged.
In the past.
Why? Because with Jace, there’s no in-between.
There’s all or nothing.
Jace is breathing heavily, searching my eyes for a reassurance. “What the fuck are you doing?”
Reaching for my shirt beside me, I put it on and snap my eyes to his to see his cold eyes locked on mine. “What?”
He stares at me, as if he doesn’t want to answer the question. He keeps his gaze steady on mine when he asks again, “Whatare you doing? Are you really thinking of going back to him?”
“Jace…” I groan. “It’s not as easy as staying here with you. You know I have a life in Tennessee. I have a job waiting for me, a career… I have some things I need to figure out.”
“No, it is that easy.” He glares at me, his expression familiar, his head tilted as if he hasn’t heard me right. I lift off him and pull my jeans up. He rights his jeans, but his eyes never leave me. I don’t have to see his eyes to know his hurt, his guilt he won’t let me see, and his agitation with my refusal. “You get out of this truck, Abbi, and I’m fucking done. Don’t call me, don’t text me.” My heart is ready to explode when his eyes find mine. “We’re over. For good this time. I’m not doing this anymore.”
The hiss of his words hits me in the heart. My eyes narrow and I weigh his words. I swallow over the lump in my throat, trying to take my words with it. We’re silent for close to a minute before I sigh. “Jace, I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t think… I… can’t just not go back to him,” I point. “I need to explain. I’m not sixteen anymore.”
He nods knowing what I’m referring to, but his expression says anything but approval. He licks his lips, his jaw tight, eyes haunted by memories. His breaths come faster as his anger begins to fester. “Are you going to leave him?”
“I don’t know.” My stare locks on his, revealing a clouded mixture of restlessness and curiosity. I want to look away, Christ, I want to so badly but can’t. The longer we stare at each other, the more I’m weakened, falling under his spell. “It’s complicated.”
“Complicated?” He raises an eyebrow, as if to say I’ve lost my mind. “How so?” He invades my space, his warmth radiating into me, and his lips find the shell of my ear. “You fucked me. Don’t you think he’s going to have something to say about that?”
Oh, I know he will.I attempt to break free, blinking a few times rapidly, but for the life of me, Ican’t. Or maybe it’s that I don’t want to. I’m playing with fire, but I want to see what he’s going to say to me. “I know he’s going to have something to say about it if I tell him.”
He smirks. “If you tell him….” He sighs, shaking his head. “Jesus Christ.”
“Jace,” I begin, reaching for his arm.
He pulls it away. “Don’t,” he mumbles, his voice an angry warning, a distinct shake to his words.
“Why are you acting like this? If you remember correctly, you didn’t choose me. Remember?”
His restless eyes sweep to mine, narrowing in the darkness. “Get out.”
I hate the tone, the delivery, Ihateit all because I never thought he’d act this way. Actually, I’ll be honest. I knew he would. Utterly embarrassed, I try to say something in reply, but my mouth won’t form the words.
I blink rapidly. “What?”
He nods to the gas station we’re outside of. Yeah, so we had sex in the back seat of his Jeep in the parking lot of a gas station. New low for me.
“You heard me. Get the fuck out. Have a nice life with Tennessee.”
And maybe it’s my stubborn heart unwilling to give him what he wants because I never got that, or I’m a fucking idiot and I’m going to regret this. I get out of his truck, Jeep, whatever the fuck it is, and call Josie.
He peels out of the parking lot, sliding across both lanes into traffic, leaving my heart. He’s going too far to prove his point, and while I know I’ve earned some of his hatred, he doesn’t see how much this is killing me.
CHAPTER13
Walk of Shame
ABBI
I’ve never been good at lying.
“Why are you driving like an asshole?”With my heart in my throat, I dig my nails into the leather of plush seats I might die in. “It’s a sheet of ice outside. And this isn’t your truck.”