Page 44 of Between the Stars

My heart aches and it’s as if my body is telling it, wake up, bitch. You fucked up on all levels. But I’m not listening. I’m not sure I ever do when it comes to Jace. Something deep inside me tells me I lost him between yesterday and today, but I don’t know where that leaves me.

“Nice to see you’re still alive.” I jump at the sound of Griff’s voice as I unlock the door to our condo just before eight that evening. I spent the entire day at the airport waiting on a flight after weather delayed my flight, and the last thing I want is an argument. Griff stands in the doorway of our bedroom, in only his boxers, phone in hand. He lifts it up and stares at me, waving it around. “I couldn’t get a hold of you.”

Those are the first words from him. Not, hey, great to see you after a week, or even Merry Christmas. But you expected that, didn’t you? I did. I thought he would have called me. You know, to say Merry Christmas? Nothing. Not even a goddamn text message. “It’s crappy service at my parents’ house.” I set my bag on the floor next to the door. “I didn’t get any messages from you.”

He raises an eyebrow, challenging me. “I sent them.”

“Weird.” Do I believe him? I’m not sure. But I guarantee you if I was to ask to see his phone, he wouldn’t show me. I don’t even know his passcode. That’s the kind of person he is. Trust is everything but easily broken by his own lies.

“I need a shower,” he notes. “I’m running late.” But he pauses and raises an eyebrow.

His phone dings in his hand. He glances at it, but then sets it face down on the dresser. I step closer to him. “Why would your father want my dad’s company?” I ask, going straight for the jugular. It doesn’t make any sense to him, unless he’s using him.

Griff laughs and reaches for a towel next to him on the dresser in our room. “Is that a real question?”

I step closer, anger flushing my cheeks and taking my voice with it. “Well, yeah. Don’t talk to me like I’m an idiot.”

He chuckles under his breath. “Your dad is a good guy, Abbi, but he’s an awful business owner.” We’re face-to-face now. He looks different to me. Like I don’t know him. And maybe I don’t. “You shouldn’t be worried about what my dad’s interest in the company is and more aboutwhyhe was handed a business and it still went under.”

“So what happens after your dad is done with the company? He sells it and my parents are left with nothing?”

Griff shakes his head. “As long as we’re married, that won’t happen.”

As long as we’re married.That’s the thing here. I have to marry Griff if I want my dad’s business to be saved. At least that’s what I’m gathering here.

This man has no empathy. He’s a monster. I don’t even know what to say to him. I can’t defend my dad. This isn’t the first time my parents have struggled with money, or to keep the business afloat, but I never thought it’d come to this.

I’m not even sure he loves me. He loves the little Southern redhead he was able to control for so long and brainwash into thinking he could give her what she wanted. But that girl, she gave her heart at five and never got it back. How could she give it to someone like this guy when it was never hers to give away?

“I’m gonna shower.” Griff touches his hand to my cheek and raises an eyebrow. “Want to join me?”

“No, I’m tired.” I feel a pang of guilt in my chest but it passes easily. “I think I’m going to get some sleep.”

“Really?” He stares at me, like he can’t possibly believe I’d turn him down. “You’re gone a week and you don’t want to….”

I step back away from him. “Nope, I’m exhausted.”

“Suit yourself.” He pulls in a deep breath and watches me. “I hope your mood doesn’t have anything to do with what you did while you were in Amarillo and I couldn’t get a hold of you.”

The guilt hits me right in my heart. Like a knife twisting. Does he know? Why isn’t he angrier? “What are you saying?”

His voice is cold and flat, his eyes hard when he says, “I think you know.”

And the look that follows, it gives me chills. Who is this man? I’ve never seen that expression until today. Do you know the traits of an Insecure narcissist? Selfishness, sense of entitlement, lack of empathy, power, ideal love. All traits Griff has.

I stand my ground though. “If you got something to say, say it.”

He stares at me, as if he wants to lay into me about where I was, or wasn’t, but then sighs. “I’m late for work.”

“Then I guess you better take your shower.” I swallow over the tightness in my throat.

He chews on his bottom lip for a moment and then tips his head to the side. His darkness is toxic and it’s bleeding through. “I hope whatever you did was enough and you got it out of your system because we have a wedding to plan.” He leans forward and presses his lips to my forehead. “And unpack your suitcase. You know how much I hate clutter.”

He still wants to marry me? Of course he does. He wants control. What kind of relationship our we creating here? His high can make me feel a thousand feet tall, but his low I’ve never felt more alone.

Is this true love? Love isn’t a word you say. Okay, it is, but it’s meaning, it’s a pause in a moment. A silent look across the room you can feel when he’s not even touching you. Do I have that with Griff?

I know he doesn’t make me feel the way Jace does. Not even close.

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