Page 8 of Between the Stars

Her father said I wasn’t good enough, but when have I ever listened to what others say about me? Easy. When Abbi’s involved, I do. I knew he was right. I couldn’t give Abbi what she needed at the time. I’m still not sure I can. And now there’s a date set, and my days are numbered on whether or not I’m going to do something about it.

Just before I’m thinking of downing the rest of the flask in hopes I’ll pass out, there’s a tapping at my window followed by my sister opening it. “Wrong room,” I tell her as she climbs into my window like she used to do when we were kids.

Josie’s wide eyes snap to mine. She’s twenty-three. She doesn’t need to sneak into the house. It’s not like our parents give a shit if we come home at three or four in the morning anymore. “Ah, shit. It is, isn’t it.” She steadies her body on the window ledge, half in, half out, and flops her arm my direction. “Help a bitch out.”

I do, because it’s fucking cold with the window open, and the sooner I get her out of my room, the quicker I can get to finishing off that flask. “What the fuck are you doing? Why are you still sneaking in through windows?”

Josie tumbles into my room with a thud onto the floor when I yank her arm harder than I need to. “I wanted to see if I could still do it.”

I kick her thigh and flop down onto my bed. “Well, use in your own damn window.”

“I thought I was. I guess I miscalculated.” Sitting back against the open window, her eyes drift to my nightstand where the flask is, and then the invitation. “Ha.” She laughs. “How does it feel to stare into your mistakes?” Her eyes lift from the nightstand to the hole in my wall where I put my fist through it two days ago when that invitation arrived.

I look away.

Josie is my twin sister. She knows exactly what went down with me and Abbi, even if nobody else in town does. We’re the secret. The kids who snuck around behind everyone’s back. The ones everyone told to stay away from one another, yet we didn’t. But Josie, she’s always known. Probably because she constantly caught us and she’s Abbi’s best friend. But still, I play dumb and run my hand through my hair. “What?”

She points to the invitation. “That wasn’t addressed to you.”

I clench my jaw and refuse to make eye contact. “Mom opened it and left it on the counter.”

She sniffs, a sly grin on her face. She sniffs again.

“What are you doing?”

Her grin widens and I want to push her out the window she’s still sitting on. “You smell that?”

“No.” I glance around the room. “It doesn’t smell in here.”

“Yes it does. It smells like cheap beer and regret in here.”

I glare at her and sit on the edge of my bed. I hate having a sister. Why couldn’t my mom have had two boys. And why does she have to be Abbi’s best friend? My jaw tightens and I grip my pillow beside me, ready to react. “Don’t make me throw you out the window.”

“I’m just sayin’.” She grins, rolling her eyes. “You didn’t buck the fuck up. You’re only angry because you had your chance and lost it to Tin Man.”

Tin Man? I don’t know what the fuck she’s talking about, but I’ve had enough of her bullshit. I push her out the window. Because she’s right, I did, and I let it go by me.

“Ow!” Josie yells, falling the five feet out the window and onto the icy ground

Shit. I know it hurts to fall out that window in the middle of winter. I’ve done it a time or two. “You okay?” I ask, looking over the edge at her sprawled out on the snowbank.

Josie picks herself up and reaches up. “Yeah. Help me in.”

“Nope. Use the door.” And then I close the window and lock it on her.

I take one last look at the invitation before I finish up the flask and light the invitation on fire. As I watch it burn in the sink and the ashes falling against my fingertips, I think, this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you I’m going to let the girl go. I’m supposed to tell everyone I’m okay, and what happens, happens. It’s out of my control. But I’ve never been one to admit defeat.

And acknowledging that she’s marrying another man, that she’s not mine, that’s giving up. Something I’ve never been good at.

CHAPTER3

Decisions

ABBI

What am I doing?

Heat rushes through me.I can’t stop the visions of his hand down the front of his jeans. They course through me like his words, remembering what the swell of him feels like inside me. I recall the way his weight took my breath away and the roughness of his touch, making me want more from him.

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