Page 9 of Between the Stars

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Why? Why does he always do this to me? Why do I let him?

I swallow over a shaking breath, my stomach tightening. I suck in another breath. Doesn’t work or provide relief.

Oh God, what was I thinking? Why’d I even answer his call?

Two reasons. I’m an idiot. That’s one of them. The second, I can’t remember because my heart is beating so fast I can’t breathe. I think of his rich dark hair falling into his eyes and those green eyes with a mixture of gold and brown hues.

“Darlin’, that look right there, it tells me you have no business getting married when I’m the one you want.”

If we were in the same room, I know I would have felt his breath on my skin and the words rattle though me and my cheeks would heat. They would have teased and tempted me into doing whatever he wanted like they always do.

Fanning my face, I try to calm my breathing as Griff—oh, right, reason number two—walks through our apartment. I hear his keys hit the counter and the sound of running water.

My throat tightens. Shit. I thought he had an eight-hour surgery tonight. Why the hell is he home so early? Running my hand over my face, I try to calm my hair and maybe wipe the flush from my cheeks. Doesn’t work. No, no, you can’t simply wipe away your reaction to Jace.

You’re probably wondering, what the fuck I’m doing. I have a boyfriend.

Um, bless your heart, it’s so much worse, sister.

I’m engaged.

I know, I know. Award to the shittiest person ever? Top nominee right here. That’s me on the bed, raising my hand. Listen, I know you probably have your assumptions about me already. That I’m an asshole. And you might be right, but if you knew Jace Vaughn the way I do, you’d answer his calls too.

The worst part? I knew exactly where that conversation was leading with Jace. Same place it always leads with us. It’s like we’re magnets for deceit and bad decisions when we’re together.

Closing my eyes, I take a seat on the bed and then look over at my phone. Warmth pulses through me. I picture his face in my mind and the way his tongue slowly glided over his lips, his teeth following the path to roll his bottom lip between them. The way his eyes burned into mine.

Fuck, stop thinking of him!

I can’t though. Give me some credit. It’s been four years since we said it was over, and I still cannot stop thinking of him. His memory causes a fresh flush to my cheeks and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have feelings for him. I will always have a place for that cowboy who showed me what love tasted like.

Biting my nails, I stand up and pace beside the bed. I think about his tone, the husky pitch of his words when he said he never stopped. Loving me? He didn’t say the words directly, but I felt them. The way his voice shook, the painful sharp edge of regret, they raked through my body, spreading fire and desire with it. Jace… he’s not easy to understand, but once you get past the layers, he gives you a peek into who he is.

Scared. Indecisive. Loyal.

“Abbs, you awake?” Griff asks, opening the door to our room.

The wood floor creaks with his steps, and I snap my eyes to his in the darkness, a stream of light filtering into the room from the kitchen light. “Uh, yeah.” My voice is scratchy so I clear my throat. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“That’s because you missed me.” He leans into the frame, still dressed in his scrubs. “Didn’t you?”

I smile, but the gesture falls flat. He’s not the one I miss tonight.

Griffin Hemington, he’s every girl’s dream guy. Checks every box on the checklist if you’re into making lists. Comes from a wealthy family, has his life together, looks amazing in a black suit, but in scrubs, irresistible. Sharp jawline, stunning blue eyes, and thick black hair that’s perfect for pulling. You’ve seen Shawn Mendes, right? Okay, so picture him with black hair, blue eyes, scrubs, and usually has a stethoscope around his neck. Oh, and add some laugh lines at the creases of his eyes. He’s aging like fine wine.

Griff, he caught my attention sophomore year of college when he made an appearance in my human anatomy class. He’d already graduated but was giving a lecture with my professor. He’s well spoken, charming, and can make you blush when he whispers in your ear.

After much persistence on his end, we started dating off and on that fall. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on a date with him. I’d heard he had a reputation around campus for being a player, and you know what they say about surgeons? They’re like the lead singers of a band. Cool for a night, but not the forever kind.

Unfortunately, between working the nightshift as an intern, Griff basically stalked me until I agreed to go out with him. Why he wanted to date a small-town girl from Texas, I have no idea. Still don’t. Especially when you look at his family. Dad comes from a long line of politicians and family money, and his mom is some kind of crazy popular influencer who for all I know is BFFs with Joanna Gains. Truth is, I don’t know his family that well. I do know Griff though. He’s twenty-six, on his way to becoming a cardio surgeon and in his last year of residency at the University of Tennessee. Oh, and as of Thanksgiving, wants to marry me. He proposed in front of his entire family, and while I think there was disappointment in his mother’s eyes, Griff held nothing but love for me.

So why am I talking to another man on the phone?

It’s hard to forget your first love. And I can’t even say first love, because that’s not accurate for Jace and me. We’re so much more than that. First… everything. Connection, friendship, heartache, betrayal, fight… every single emotion, and relationship you experience as a child, I did them with Jace beside me.

“Are you feeling okay?”

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