Page 102 of Left on Base

She turns to me, still embarrassed but honestly curious. The LED strip lights on our ceiling give her face a purple hue. “What if I choke?”

“Nah. You’re not going to choke on his dick.”

“I might.”

“You’ll gag—on his dick—before you choke.” It’s honestly wild I’m explaining this to a twenty-year-old. Shouldn’t she know by now? Then again, Callie didn’t lose her virginity until last year to Jameson. Also, don’t tell Jameson. I don’t think he knows.

“You’re not making it sound fun.” She looks down at her phone, blue light on her face. “Have you done it?”

“Sucked a dick?” I say it because she cringes every time I do, and it’s taking my mind off the whole ‘date with someone who isn’t Jaxon’ situation. My phone sits face-up on my desk, still silent. Judgy little rectangle.

“Okay, stop saying the D word, but yes.”

I can’t stop laughing. “Yes, I’ve sucked a?—”

She throws a pillow at me. “Stop saying it!”

We both lose it for a minute, then Callie sighs. “Um, have you though?”

“Yeah, I have.”

“Jaxon’s?”

My cheeks flush. Not embarrassed, just... whatever. “Uhh.”

“Wait, is he, you know, big?”

“Callie, that’s weird to ask.” I fidget with my towel, picturing how mortified Jaxon would be if he knew we were having this conversation. He hates people knowing anything about him. Unless it’s Inez, who gets to post their study sessions on Instagram.

“Oh, is it?”

“Yes, you know him! He’d hate it if you knew his size.”

She starts laughing again and hides her face. “He looks like he’s big. Must be all that squatting behind the plate.”

I fight a smile—memories of Jaxon’s size flood in, unwelcome. “Mhm.” Not telling her. Jaxon keeps things private, among other things. Hint, hint.

I get dressed, tugging on a revealing pink mini dress that makes me look like Elle Woods if she shopped at Fashion Nova. It’s too much. I should change.

“You look gorgeous.”

“Callie, I don’t know how to date or even talk to people.” I check my phone again. Nothing.

“What? You dated someone for six years. You know how it works.”

“That was Jaxon. We were friends first, then more. I’ve only ever wanted to know him. What if Nathan expects me to care about soccer? What do I even say? ‘Nice goal kick?’ ‘Way to, uh... kick the ball?’”

“Oh, uh, be supportive?”

Supportive. Great. That’s her advice?

Maybe I should fake being sick. Food poisoning? No, because karma would guarantee I actually get food poisoning for a week. But at least I wouldn’t have to pretend I’m interested in Nathan, because I’m not.

“I can’t do this.” Fourth time today I’ve said that. My phone lights up and my heart jumps—just a professor’s email about the assignment I haven’t started.

“Yes, you can.”

“Nope.” I tug at my dress, trying to make the hot pink fabric longer. Maybe if I pull hard enough, it’ll reach my knees. “I can’t.” I care what I look like, but honestly? I don’t. The only person I want to notice won’t even text me. Probably too busy with Inez.

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