Page 54 of Shades of Scars

“You know, I blame myself. I really shouldn’t have expected any of you to stay out of my business. All of you alphas are the same.” I spit out the words, regretting them as soon as they are out. I shouldn’t fucking care.

“Dream girl-” Lark begins, but I cut him off with a vicious snarl. I know I’ve hurt his feelings. I’ve probably hurt all of them, but I shove my conscience down where it belongs. They are the ones that fucked up. Not me.

“Please. Just give me the kit so I can fix my foot. Then I’d like to go back to my apartment.” This time, I look at Wren and not Caito. He’s the pack lead. He will make the other alphas listen. I can’t look at him without looking at the mark I left. If I do, my resolve will crack.

He looks at me, a war waging in his eyes, but I can see him cracking. He’ll give in because he knows he has to. If he doesn’t, he’ll risk losing me forever. He doesn’t need to know that they’re already on the fast track to that already.

I just need to get the fuck out of here. I just need tothink.

“Give her the kit, Caito.” His alpha bark is unexpected, and I flinch when it cracks out like a whip. Wren now refuses to lookat me, so he misses it. Lark, Apollo, and Caito do not. The latter growls, anger palpable in the shift in his scent, but I grit my teeth against that, too.

Finally—fucking finally—he hands the items in his hand over to me. I ignore the way my body reacts when his fingers brush against the skin of my palm as I close my hand around the supplies. I ignore all of them while I get to work on removing the nasty shard of glass from my heel.

Silence descends while I move like a robot. Once I am satisfied the glass is removed, I clean the wound with the antiseptic, and then wrap it with the gauze and tape. It takes probably about fifteen minutes. The entire time, all four alphas stand rigid, watching me. It’s a damn testament to my strength that I manage to keep myself from looking at any of them.

I rise to my feet when I’m done, ignoring the twinge in my heel as I do so. I take a step, but then Caito’s growl stops me in my tracks. I look at him then, even though I know it’s a bad idea. It kills me to see the tortured look in his eyes, but I lift my chin regardless. He hurt me. I didn’t do this. I didn’t break us.

“You’re running. Instead of facing your problems like a big girl, you’re blowing them off. That’s nice to know.” I narrow my eyes on him, and Lark groans at his pack brother while Apollo curses.

“Caito-” Wren begins, but the alpha in question snarls, slashing his hand in the air when he turns to leave. I don’t know why that makes panic surge with in me, and I take a step towards him before I can stop myself. I seriously hate my goddamn omega instincts sometimes.

“Tell me you did it because you want to control me.” I snap, letting some of my anger loose. Caito freezes. They all freeze.

Slowly, he turns back to me, an emotion glinting in his eye that I can’t quite place. I can’t feel it down the partial bond, either. That makes me nervous. “Is that what you think we wantto do? Truly?” The question is so cold. So devoid of life. It makes a ripple of unease course down my spine.What the hell am I doing?

I lift my chin, but my bravado is gone. “I’ve spent my entire life catering to alphas that want nothing but to control me. First my father, and then them.Him. What else am I supposed to think when you all fucking promised me you’d do anything to make me happy and keep me safe. I warned you to leave this alone. Harlan Erossi is not someone you can fuck with and get away with it.” My chest is heaving, anger making my scent burn into something rotten. It clogs the air, but so do their scents. I breathe in and I can taste their own anger. Their anxiety and helplessness.

Theirfear.

It’s suffocating.

I expect Caito to explode, to argue with me and lay down the law. I expect him to do a lot of things. I don’t expect him to shake his head and turn his back on me again. He stalks away without another word, and I feel that thin cord inside of my chest pull taut. The bond flickers frantically with each step he takes. It feels wrong. I don’t know how to explain it.

I know I should stop him. I don’t. I watch him walk away, and a tremor works its way from the crown of my head to the tip of my toes. Another deathly still silence falls over the room, and I can’t tear my eyes away from the archway where Caito had just disappeared. My soul is crying out for him, our bonded alpha, but my anger and my pride promise to be my downfall.

“Do you want time, Scarlett?” Wren’s sudden question breaks through the silence like a bullet through a glass window, shattering my resolve just a little bit more. I feel my chin wobble, but I can’t look at him. I stare down at my feet now, one still throbbing from the glass I’d pulled out. My heart is fracturing apart in my chest.

Time… Is that what I want? Will that make this better?I don’t know. I don’t fucking know, and I feel like I am dying inside. I let these alphas in. I trusted them. I was going to let myself fall. My reality has been shattered, and I don’t know how to fix this.

“I think… that might be best.” I pull out my phone from the pocket on my sundress. “I already ordered an Uber. It’s here.” I can’t find any other words to say. I can’t look at them.

I can’t stop thinking about the way Caito turned his back on me.

“I’ll walk you down.” Wren says after a tense moment of silence. I want to argue, but the fight has left me. I want to break down, but I won’t do that here. If they see me lose it, they’ll want to comfort me, and then I’ll cave in. I can’t. I did nothing wrong. I have to keep telling myself that.

I follow Wren to the door. Lark and Apollo stay back in the den, but I can feel their eyes on me as I go. I force myself to keep my eyes on the floor. I know if I look at them, I’ll break. It won’t even take much. Just seeing the pain in their eyes will be enough to make me beg.

As soon as I am at the door, I slip my feet into my flip-flops. I stand there for a moment, still staring at the ground. Then Wren reaches out and grasps my chin in his palm, turning my face up to look at him. I suck in a sharp breath at what I see written across his face. There’s so much there for me to unpack, but the one emotion above all else that sticks out to me is a shock to my system.

Understanding.

“This isn’t us giving up on you, Sweetheart. This is us proving to you that what you want matters. Take the time you need. We will be here waiting when you’re ready.” The words are simple, yet they flay me right down to the marrow of my bones.

I open my mouth like I’m going to say something, but he shakes his head. He doesn’t need an explanation. I shouldn’t want to give him one, but I do. Can I really leave like this? I just watched one of my alphas turn his back on me, and it nearly destroyed me.

How can I turn my back on all four of them?

Because this isn’t forever.I tell myself that as I get on the elevator. I tell myself that as I watch Wren until the doors slide closed, cutting him off from view.

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