Page 126 of Are You Going to Love Me

“I focus on what I can control. I can control that man and his tempo and the tempo of our home. Nothing can penetrate what we built. And gang shit has tried to run my house.”

“It’s trying to run mine, too.”

“Are you going to let it? Those are some strong-willed men. Lucci is a little more erratic than MB. But because MB is quieter doesn’t mean that he’s not leading. That doesn’t mean that he’s not looking to you for direction either. They will do whatever they have to do to maintain that peace at home. We just have to get out of our heads and open our ears. And then open your mouth and state what you need.”

“To answer your question – no. I don’t want it to. Gang shit follows both of us. I know what it is to live outside of that man’s world. And I don’t want to ever know that again.”

“You think he wants to know what it feels like to live outside of yours? Julius got away from me once, and getting back into orbit, we had to fight for it. Literally. My unsolicited advice,” Daysha started with a laugh. “Don’t let it get away from you. I’ve watched you two tonight, so powerful as a unit. Apart, you letanything creep in. Be it gang shit, hoe shit, fuck nigga shit. You stay on his ass, and you stay in his business, and you cement your place next to him. You’re his sanctuary. His place of peace, his covering, his strength. Don’t let the streets or these bitches out here trick you out your bag or your position, girl.”

Eden swiped a tear from her cheek and sighed. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. I know how much weight comes with position. I know the vultures, but I know goodness and you are good; you’re the best thing for him and he’s the best thing for you. If you ever need an ear, I'm here. I know you have your sister, but you both have a tribe now. And we’re always going to make sure one of ours is good.”

“I appreciate you. All these emotions are running rampant and I’m off my period, imagine that,” Eden laughed, not seeing Daysha’s smirk.

“It’s a big weekend and a lot of moving parts, you’re going to be fine. But do me a favor.”

“What’s that?”

“Make up with your man tonight. They perform so much better when they can smell us on them.”

“That’s how you stay pregnant, huh?” Eden laughed.

Daysha laughed. “Oh, yes, and I can’t get up off of him either.”

forty

. . .

“How long hasshe been sending you these pictures?” Eden’s voice flowed out onto the terrace, where he sat smoking.

Maximus blew his smoke away from her, his eyes roaming from the water to his woman. Her hair was free, face free of makeup, nipples pierced the fabric of her night shirt. “Since that kick back. Every week seems like. I block her, and she uses another account. Shit is annoying but I know how this shit goes with these hoes. I comment or whatever, it’s all over the blogs and you’re hot again because I’ve made you look stupid, or I didn’t tell you the full truth.”

“About that.”

“We goin’ to talk or are we gonna be out here hollering at one another?”

“I don’t holler, Max. That was you.”

“Raised my voice, and I don’t feel good about it, E. I don’t feel good about none of this shit. Look at where we are and then look at the monkey on our back.” Maximus patted his lap after snuffing his blunt out. “Come here.”

Eden tiptoed her bare feet over the warm concrete to him. Maximus reached out and pulled her down onto his lap. “I don’t like it either. What I don’t like the most is the thought that this monkey on our backs can take you from me, and I won’t be able to get you back. That thought literally feels like I'm dying. I just started living, Max.”

Maximus reached up and held her face between his hands. He brought her face to his and groaned. “Get that shit out your head. You think I came this far, to live and get something and someone worth a damn to leave you, E? You think I’m going to be that reckless and let them snatch me from you?”

Eden draped her arms around his shoulders. “It’s not you that gives me that fear, Max. It’s them. Mama can-”

“Mama can’t do a fucking thing to me. She touches me today, the gang on her ass. The only nigga that’s going to attempt to doher bidding is that bitch ass nigga I share blood with. All I need you to do, baby, is stay cool. Stay grounded. Don’t let none of that outside shit affect what we got going on in here. Hear me?”

“Heard you. I’m sorry for funkin’ up your day with my emotions.”

Maximus grunted and slouched into the seat underneath her. “If you didn’t show me no emotions then I’d assume you didn’t give a damn. All you did was show me where you standing.”

“And where is that?” Eden mused, straddling his lap and peering down at him.

Maximus let his eyes dance over her. “Stop playing with me, E. You know where the fuck you standing, in your cement shoes ‘cause your ass ain’t going nowhere. Even with all them emotions.”

Eden rolled her eyes and attempted to get off his lap. He held her in place. “All these emotions are your fault. I told you. You folded me up. Now look at me, crazy as hell.”

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