Page 148 of Are You Going to Love Me

“I got down with the gang when I was ten. Been in and out of the system since. My momma was a crackhead, daddy was a pimp. I never had a family or a real solid foundation. Never really knew love either. That’s why most of us turned to the streets for some sense of family. The thing is, I never knew brotherhood until MB was shuffled into my cell. A quiet nigga but he always stood on his respect. Always protected the people he valued. Your nigga saved my life. Twice. More than my momma or pops could do. That’s a brother. That’s a man I can stand by and jump in front of.

“Then he found you. The minute he saw you through a prison-issued tablet, something changed. A purpose ignited inhim – bigger and deeper than rap. Bigger than himself. He’s intentional. Everything he does is on purpose. He loves on purpose, he creates on purpose. You’re his on purpose. What you two got is bigger than you’ll ever understand. It’s going to save people. So be upset. Your feelings are justified. I’m never going to take that away from you.

“I can’t speak to your hurt or your trauma. I can only tell you what I know – it was never his intention to cause you pain. If anything, that nigga been spinnin’ in circles to keep all this shit from touching you. He knew the feds were coming for your moms and Mama. He was trying to stay ten steps ahead. That man breathes you. Don’t shut him out, E. He ain’t gon’ survive this shit without you. Do you hear me?”

“I hear you.”

Brody nodded his bandaged face. “Aight and do me a favor.”

“What’s that?”

“The next time we tell you to leave, please leave. Granted, this scar gon’ get me some sympathy pussy. Just go. We not trying to hide nothing, we just trying to keep the queen safe, that’s it.”

Eden rolled her eyes. “You’re annoying.”

“Good. That means you listening.” He looked over at her. “You mean something to us, E. You’re the center. Stay grounded, we got everything else.”

The lock on the door turned, making Brody jump up with his gun clutched in his hand. Eden jumped up behind him.

“It’s him,” Eden spoke as if she was releasing a breath. “Put that away.”

Maximus entered the apartment, and Eden rushed over to him, connecting their bodies. He winced but accepted her embrace. Eden buried her face into his chest and whimpered.

“I’m going to let y’all handle your shit. You need me, call me, nigga,” Brody spoke exiting the apartment. “Don’t leave here without one of us.”

“I’m not finna call you niggas,” Maximus stated, earning him a look from Brody.

“You think I won’t sweet-talk Ms. Johnson?”

“Man, get yo ass on,” Maximus huffed closing the door. The second the door closed, Maximus muttered. “E, I-”

“I don’t want you to tell me. I don’t want to know the details.”

He pulled away and studied her. “Have you slept? Ate? Drank water?”

“Stop fussing over me. I slept for two hours, but it felt like,” Eden paused. “Like I was dreaming with my eyes wide open. Shit I put to the back of my mind and tried to forget came flooding back.”

“You want to tell me?” He moved her to the couch, easing his body down.

Eden shook her head. “I want to forget it. I want to forget what happened, what her presence does to me. I want to forget how much I hate her, and I can’t. She always told me my father was killed by Trae Way because she was stupid enough to fuck with a nigga from the East Side. But she let him pick me up that day. Let him ride me around, for what? All the blood, the bullets. And then-”

“That shit brought back all of that?”

“Bullets always sound the same whizzing past you. Always. Yes, I’m upset you knew and didn’t tell me. God knows I could probably strangle Staysha. More than anything, I hate the power I’ve given her all of my life. I want to let it go. I need to let it go. I can’t afford to carry this anger and hate anymore.”

Maximus dropped his eyes from hers to his hands and sniffled. “Me neither. Fuck.”

She kneeled in front of him.

“I can’t take that shit back now. It’s over.”

“You can let it go. We can let this go. The trauma bond to Trae Way, we can let it go. We can change the narrative.”

He nodded slowly.

“Yeah. All that shit I carried all this time, I can’t keep holding on to.” He leaned forward, wincing, and looked at her. “That’s on me to let go of. Not yours to carry. I’m sorry I kept that from you. I’m sorry I caused you pain. All I’ve been trying to do is keep it from you. I shut you out.”

“You did.”

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