Page 31 of His Curvy Obsession

“So you’re just…what? Hooking up with her?”

I don’t fucking know what to say.

Yes? Yes. I’m sleeping with her. And I’m not dating her. So I guess that technically counts as “hooking up.” But I don’t like that term. It cheapens things. What we have is more than a hook up, even if it’s not commitment either.

“She knows it’s just casual,” I reply.

Elijah lets out a low whistle.

“Eric, you’re not much of a liar,” he says. “As the oldest brother, I’ve always known when you’re full of shit and right now you’re full of it.”

“What are you talking about? I haven’t lied about anything. You asked if I’m sleeping with Rebecca and I told you. There’s nothing being hidden.”

“I’m talking about how you’re obviously hung up on her enough to show up to meetings late, forget things…wear mismatched shoes,” Elijah says, gesturing to my feet. “The king of routine and stability is suddenly unreliable and flighty. Youmight be able to fool Emmett with your bullshit but you’re far from fooling me. Come on.”

I say nothing, eyeing the exit. I know I could leave now and end the conversation here. Elijah would probably allow it. And I can probably dodge his stupid HR paperwork, too.

“Look, I know you’re not big into dating,” Elijah says. “But I wouldn’t peg you for the kind of careless to casually hook up with your assistant. You have more regard for your career — and for Rebecca — than that. This is something more. Even a robot like you can -”

“Knock it off,” I snap. “Knock it off with that robot shit, would you? For fuck’s sake, I’m not a god damned robot. And I’m sick of you and Emmett making your stupid ass jokes about that. Just because I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve and go around making my feelings other people’s problems, that doesn’t mean I’m a fucking robot.”

“Stop yelling,” Elijah says, glancing out the window of the conference room.

I turn to look behind me and see heads peering over cubicles, curious eyes looking in at us. I didn’t even realize I was yelling.

“I didn’t realize the robot jokes bothered you,” he says, looking back at me. “You just needed to say something. I’ll stop.”

“I shouldn’t have to say something,” I mutter.

“Well, it’s hard to tell what the hell you’re thinking or feeling most of the time,” Elijah says. “The only reason I had a hunch about this thing with Rebecca is because you have been showing some emotion lately. For a change.”

“The only emotion I’m showing right now is anger,” I say.

“Like the anger you had when you took down Welch?” He asks, tapping the papers on the table between us.

“Yes,” I say, staring him down. “Like that.”

Elijah looks at the papers, flipping the corners with his thumb.

“Don’t waste this,” he says.

“What?”

“Don’t waste this opportunity, Eric,” he says. “This thing you’ve got with Rebecca right now. Don’t waste it. Don’t do that thing you always do.”

“What thing am I always doing?”

“You run,” he says simply. “You hide away. Just when we think we might be getting somewhere with you, you draw back and pull away. Like you can handle too much realness. You go hide in your books and your research and lock the world out.”

“Maybe the world needs to be locked out,” I say, thinking of the crowded wedding reception this weekend, of the way my chest went tight, the woman in the blue dress clinging to my arm like an oily film.

“Maybe,” Elijah agrees. “Just some of the world, though. Not all of it. There’s some good in the world, in other people. I don’t know what Rebecca has done to you lately but I’d say she’s good for you.”

“Making me forget to wear matching shoes is good for me?”

“Breaking you out of your box is good for you,” he says. “Every once in a while. It’s what you need. But damn if you’re going to do that on your own. It’s on us — Emmett and me — to initiate. And now Rebecca is helping us out, it seems. And doing a better job at it than either of us have ever managed to do.”

“What if I don’t love her?” I ask. “It’s not right to continue something with her. She wants something I can’t give to her.”

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