Page 16 of Accidentally Abducted

Zeph blinks at me, clearly not expecting that question. "Bathe?"

"Yeah, you know, wash, clean ourselves, basic hygiene maintenance." I gesture vaguely at my own sticky state. "Because right now I feel like I've been marinating in my own bad decisions, and I'm starting to think maybe your people have evolved past the need for daily scrubbing."

"Oh." Zeph's expression shifts to something that might be embarrassment. "You require cleansing facilities."

"I require cleansing facilities," I confirm. "Preferably ones that involve hot water and soap, or whatever the alien equivalent is. Please tell me you guys didn't solve the hygieneproblem with some kind of sonic vibration thing that's going to rearrange my internal organs."

"You should have mentioned this sooner," Zeph says, sitting up with a look of genuine concern. "Of course you need to bathe. I simply... it did not occur to me that you would be uncomfortable."

"It's not uncomfortable, exactly. More like... gross. Humans typically bathe daily, sometimes more if we've been engaging in particularly vigorous physical activity." I give him a pointed look. "Which we definitely have."

The blue flush spreads across Zeph's cheekbones. "I apologize. I should have considered your hygiene requirements."

"Hey, no apology necessary. I just need to know if there's a sonic shower or a cleansing beam or some other sci-fi bathing solution that's going to make me question everything I thought I knew about personal hygiene."

"We do have bathing facilities," Zeph says, and there's something almost shy in his expression. "Though they may be... different from what you are accustomed to."

"Different how?"

"Perhaps it would be easier to show you."

Zeph climbs out of bed with that fluid grace that I'm becoming addicted to watching, and pulls on a loose robe that somehow makes him look even more attractive. I grab yesterday's clothes, which feel disgusting against my skin, and follow him out of the sleeping area.

Instead of heading toward what I assumed would be a bathroom, Zeph leads me through a section of the quarters I haven't explored yet, down a short corridor that ends at a door I hadn't noticed before.

"The cleansing facilities," Zeph says, pressing his palm to the access panel.

The door slides open, and I stop dead in my tracks.

"Holy shit."

What I'm looking at isn't a bathroom. It's not even really a pool, although there's definitely water involved. It's more like someone took the concept of a natural hot spring and redesigned it using alien technology, unlimited resources, and possibly a team of designers who really wanted to show off.

The space is larger than I expected, with smooth walls that curve organically toward a ceiling that's been designed to look like an underwater cave. The lighting is soft and blue-green, giving everything an aquatic feel, and the air is warm and humid in a way that makes me immediately want to dive in.

But the centerpiece is the water itself;a series of connected pools at different levels, with what looks like a gentle current flowing between them. The water glows faintly with the same golden light as Zeph's skin, and steam rises from the surface in lazy spirals.

"This is your bathroom?" I ask, still trying to process what I'm seeing. "Jesus, Zeph, my entire apartment could fit in here. Hell, Derek's entire upstairs setup could probably fit in here too."

"Among other things," Zeph says, and I notice he's watching my reaction carefully. "Nereidans have certain... aquatic requirements."

"Aquatic requirements," I repeat, then remember the gills I've noticed on his neck. "Right. You're part fish. I should have guessed from the whole 'glowing like a bioluminescent sea creature' thing."

"Not fish, precisely. But we are... amphibious, in a sense. We require regular immersion for optimal health."

I walk to the edge of the nearest pool, mesmerized by the way the water seems to pulse with gentle light. "And you didn't mention this because...?"

"Because our research indicated that humans find water immersion recreational rather than necessary," Zeph says. "I did not wish to make you feel obligated to participate in activities that might be uncomfortable for you."

I turn to look at him, this alien who's apparently been hiding his own personal water paradise while I've been complaining about being sticky. "Zeph, this is amazing. Why would I be uncomfortable? This place makes every spa I've ever been to look like a kiddie pool at a run-down motel."

"Many species find aquatic environments... threatening."

"Well, this human finds aquatic environments relaxing as hell, especially when they look like they were designed by someone with unlimited resources and a serious commitment to making me feel inadequate about my own living situation." I start pulling off my clothes, suddenly desperate to get into that glowing water. "Seriously, after seeing this, I'm never going to be able to look at my shower the same way again."

"You wish to join me?"

"I wish to get clean, and if that involves sharing what is essentially an alien resort spa with my alien... whatever the hell we're calling this situation... then I'm definitely on board."

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