Page 100 of In This Together

‘Men have a lot of shit but they like to call us the hoarders.’

Sofia smiled. ‘It just feels so strange. I guess I’d thought that despite our problems, I’d be married to Jay forever. For some bizarre reason, I thought that was in my control. Like, if we were broken, it was my job to fix us.’

‘It’s funny,’ Hannah said, ‘I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about just that, lately. I’ve always thought it was my job to keep our family together and happy. To look after the boys, and Rod, the house and work. To try and save Andrea from herself.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘But look how that worked out.’

‘I’m sorry about your job,’ Sofia said.

Hannah shrugged. ‘It’s actually been good in some ways to have some breathing space, though the longer I pretend to Rod, the worse it’s going to be to tell him.’

‘Hannah, it isn’t my place, but Rod should know.’

‘I know. I just… I feel like I’ve failed, you know? I feel like I need to resolve things and go to him with a solution, rather than a problem. In truth, I thought that the whole thing would have managed to resolve itself by now and Andrea would have just given me my job back. Naïve, I know. I guess there’s also part of me that doesn’t want to give Rod a reason to fall out with Andi, too. I know, I know, you’re hating on her right now.’

Sofia’s mouth twisted. She was still hating on her sister and maybe she always would but… ‘I wouldn’t want you to leave her alone. She needs you.’

‘I used to think so. Now, I’m less sure. I think it’s time I gave you an apology for my part in all of this too, Soph.’

Sofia’s brows furrowed.

‘I knew about the affair with Hunter from the night of the Presley John concert. I guessed; she didn’t tell me. Then I thought maybe if she just ended it, things would be fine. So that’s what I tried to encourage her to do. And she did, for the record. Andrea broke things off with Hunter. She started seeing Tommy and I thought things would be okay, that maybe it was best if no one ever knew. Then, when she found out she was pregnant, I just couldn’t?—’

Sofia spat her next mouthful of wine. ‘Come again?’

Hannah’s expression turned to one of horror.

‘My sister is pregnant?’

‘Oh, fuck. I assumed you knew.’

* * *

Hannah opened her front door with TJ on her hip, surprised to see Andrea on her doorstep.

‘Relax,’ Andrea said. ‘I’m not here to scream or yell, I’m here to apologise. You have every right to slam the door in my face and I would deserve it but I’m hoping you won’t.’

Hannah stared at her friend, who frankly looked like death. Her face was gaunt. Grey circles coloured underneath her eyes and there was a light shadow on her cheek, which Hannah figured was from Rosalie having slapped her outside the studio, though Sofia hadn’t explained it had been quite as good a contact as it clearly had been.

‘Can I come in?’

Hannah stood aside to let Andrea step into the house, then led her through to the kitchen. Handing off TJ to Andrea, she asked, ‘Would you like tea?’

Andrea looked up from where she was rowing a boat with TJ on her lap on a chair at the dining table. ‘Please.’

When Hannah took a seat at the table, she placed down a plate of cookies and confirmed that Andrea could share hers with TJ.

Contented in Andrea’s lap, TJ began to close his eyes and his head became floppy as he fell into his afternoon nap.

‘How are you?’ Hannah asked Andrea.

Andrea scoffed. ‘It’s me who should be asking you that.’

‘Sofia? Rosalie?’

Andrea shook her head, confirming that neither her sister nor her friend were speaking to her. ‘I can’t say I blame them either. But that’s not why I’m here,’ she said. ‘I guess there’s no better place to start than to tell you I’m sorry, Hannah. I’m sorry for the affair and putting you in a shitty situation with Rosalie and Sofia, even at work. I’m sorry for taking everything out on you when all you tried to do was help. And I’m sorrier than you can imagine that I fired you and for the way I did it, in front of people.’

It was Hannah’s instinct to accept the apology and go on to make excuses for Andrea’s behaviour but, for once, she wasn’t going to do that. She missed Andrea and she wanted her to know that she would always be there for her, especially knowing how much it would be killing Andrea that Sofia wasn’t speaking to her. Hannah knew that she shouldn’t have blurted out the affair to Rosalie in the manner she had either, but none of that excused Andrea’s actions. Not this time.

‘The thing is, Hannah, I miss you. It’s like I’ve lost a piece of me without you around. You’ve always been there for me when I needed it, and even when I didn’t realise how much I needed you. Sometimes the truths you’ve told me have been brutal and sometimes so nice I couldn’t believe them. Well, now it’s my turn to tell you the truth – you’ve done too much to help me, Hannah, even sacrificed at home, and don’t say you haven’t. I’ve never told you that because I’m selfish and I’ve been scared to lose you as my assistant but I’m more scared not to have you in my life every day. The thought of going through everything without you…’ She glanced to her lower abdomen. ‘And without Sofia and Rosalie, too. I can’t bear it.

---