Page 102 of In This Together

Sitting at the kitchen table, their favourite smooth jazz playing in the background, two bottles of beer (Rod) and two glasses of wine (Hannah) under their skin, Hannah was about to break her news to Rod when he asked, ‘So, is all this a pre-empt to you telling me why you’ve been staying home for the last week?’

‘You knew?’

‘Mrs Schinken said she’d seen you and TJ out walking a couple of days and Luke asked why you were really home in the evenings. I figured you’d fallen out with Andi. Am I right?’

‘Huh.’

He leaned back in his chair and hung an elbow loosely over the back, tugging at the smart shirt he had put on for her after coming home to find her in a dress. His dark, firm skin blended with her wine to make her feel intoxicated by desire. It was the first time in months that she had felt like she wanted to tear at his clothes – the first time she hadn’t been feeling truly exhausted.

‘Babe, I may just be the jock from high school but I’m not an idiot.’

‘I’ve never thought of you as an idiot. Please don’t say things like that.’

‘Well, are you going to let me in on the secret?’

Hannah steadied herself. ‘Okay, here goes. Andi was sleeping with Rosalie’s dad. I told Rosalie and Andi fired me. Wait, let me finish. Andi and I have made up and she paid me six months’ salary but when she offered me my job back, I turned it down.’

‘You’re unemployed?’

‘Temporarily,’ she said quickly. ‘Andi said she’ll write me a reference to do whatever I want. In reality, if I can’t find anything before the money runs out, she’ll take me back. But I don’t want to go back.’

Rod leaned back into his chair, waiting for more of an explanation.

‘It’s time to hear me out, Rod, about some things I should have said years ago. Now, I shouldn’t have hidden things from you, I know that, but I also shouldn’t have felt like I had to hide things from you. That’s partly my fault for putting so much pressure on myself but it’s partly your fault, too.

‘I made a mistake, I hurt my friends and I got fired, deservedly so. I made an even bigger mistake when I didn’t tell you right away.

‘But here’s the thing, I’m not infallible and that’s okay. I’ve realised that I’ve been trying to look after this family almost entirely on my own for as long as I can remember. I’ve been trying to prove to myself and everyone else that I’m better than my own mother, that my kids will always come first, that the young girl who fell pregnant in college could raise a child without any help.’

‘Hannah, you’re not alone. You never have been alone.’

‘I think I’m only just appreciating that. And I recognise my fault in that, I do. But you also need to start realising that we’re in this together. I never got pregnant on my own. It wasn’t my fault that your football career didn’t work out. And, Rod, you’re really just a little bit lazy.’

He opened his mouth to protest, then twisted his lips shut without retort.

‘We’re a team, Rod, and I need you to start playing for the team, instead of coming off the bench in the final quarter. Understand?

‘I want to work and do something more than I have been doing but I need your support in that. I love the music industry and it might take me a little time to work out what I’m going to do but I’m on it, I promise.

‘When I do find something, I need you to start pulling your weight. No more staying behind for work drinks without consulting me. No more leaving your shit around the house expecting the magic fairies to swoop in and clean up after you. And no more leaving the effing toilet seat up.

‘I need your help. There, I said it. I need your help. And I shouldn’t have to ask for it because you should want to be here for me, and the kids.’

Rod stared at his wife, seeming to process her words. ‘Is this how you’ve been feeling? For what, years?’

Hannah nodded sadly.

‘Babe, I thought you liked running around after us all.’

She raised one eyebrow in question.

‘Yeah, okay,’ Rod conceded. ‘Who would like picking up after my shit, right?’ He scratched his head almost comically. ‘Look, Han, you’re my world. I’m sorry if I take you for granted. I guess if I’m honest, I know I do. But I’d be nothing without you and the last thing I want is for you to be unhappy, okay? So I can do those things. I can do more. Or I can certainly try. But you’ve gotta keep talkin’ to me, babe. Yeah? That’s how we work. We might not be perfect but I’ve loved you, girl, since you were nineteen years old. That’s never going to change. I’ve got your back, no matter what. You hear me?’

She nodded.

‘Well, all right then. Tell me this, how long until that main course is ready?’

Hannah’s lips curved up mischievously. She stood, moving to the cooker and turning down the heat. ‘Long enough,’ she said.

---