“I didn’t know how to carry all that pain back then. Thought I had to be stronger than the loss, tougher than the silence you left behind. But griefain't something you muscle through. It lives with you. Changes you.”
He stroked his beard to calm the burn behind his eyes.
“I never told nobody about how bad it got for you.” He confessed, a truth he’d guarded fiercely. “How you’d whisper to me that you were tired. That you didn’t know how long you could do this without Pops. That some days you felt like you already had one foot in the grave. How I’d find you sitting in the dark, holding his picture, crying like your soul was trying to leave your body.”
His hand balled into a fist on his knee, knuckles white with the effort of containing what threatened to break loose.
“I held that for you, Ma. Still do.”
He paused. Breathed. Let the silence cover him. He’d never shared that with Blake. They all sheltered her from the worst of it, him, their mother, the aunties who came to check on them. Made sure when they said “Momma’s not feeling well,” Blake wouldn’t question it. His father would just take her to the park, out for the day, letting Brooks stand guard over his mother’s sorrow.
“I went to church today.” The change in topic was abrupt, but necessary, a bridge to what he really came to say. “Wild, right? But it was a good experience. That’s why I’m here. That sermon hit something in me. I came to tell y’all something important.”
He looked from one headstone to the other, his voice steady now with purpose.
“I’m doing good. Real good. The business is solid. Fifteen trucks now. Contracts with the city. BishopTowing is going up, doing good, better than I ever expected.”
Pride crept into his voice, because he knew they would have been proud too. “Pops, I wish you could see what I’ve built, what I made out of myself using everything you taught me. And Ma, you’d be somewhere loud in the crowd at every award ceremony, embarrassing me with an air horn and hollering about your baby boy.”
He laughed quietly, tears unshed, wiping his eyes with his palm.
“And I know y’all been wondering when I was going to get some kids and a wife.” He shook his head, imagining his mother’s persistent questioning if she were still here. “Well, I got me somebody, a special somebody. Her name is Taylor.”
Taylor had met his parents but not in this capacity.
“She’s the peace I didn’t think I could ever have.” The admission was sacred just for them. He prayed it eased their mind, “She challenges me. Holds me down. Loves me in ways I ain’t even known I needed. She’s a runner, but we working on that.” He smiled faintly.
“She’s the one, Ma. The one I think you been praying I’d find even from up there.”
He stood slowly, brushing his hands on his pants, eyes never leaving the stones that marked where his parents rested.
“I used to be afraid to love like this. Afraid of what I might lose. Because losing y’all broke me in ways I’m still finding pieces of. But I get it now. Y’all taught me what it means to show up even when it’s hard. To love even when it hurts. To build something that lasts.I remember watching you, Pops, holding Ma’s hand through every hardship. I remember you, Ma, wiping his brow when he’d cut the grass. Small acts. Big love.”
He took a shaky breath that seemed to come from the very depths of him.
“I’m still figuring it all out. Still healing. Still unlearning all the hard edges, I grew to protect after y’all left. But I’m trying. Every damn day.”
The breeze picked up, rustling the leaves overhead, carrying what felt like a benediction.
“Blake found her somebody too. A good man named Emon. I like him. He’s good people. Reminds me of you sometimes, Pops, steady, sure about what he wants. And Blake... she’s so strong, Ma. So smart. Graduating soon. She’s doing everything you dreamed for her, and then some. I got her forever.”
Brooks stepped back, letting the breeze have its way.
“I love y’all.” The words were simple but carried the force of everything he’d held back for too long. “Always have. Always will. And I promise I’ll be back, but next time, she’ll be with me.”
He touched each headstone before turning and walking toward his truck. His shoulders felt less tense, and breathing became easier compared to when he arrived. With each step away, he noticed a change within himself. A sense of peace was now present, associated with the name Taylor.
As he drove away, leaving pieces of his heart behind with the lilies, Brooks knew with absolute certainty that his parents would have loved her as a daughter in law. Would have welcomed her into their family with the same warmth and fierceness they’dshown when Blake brought her home. He couldn’t wait to change her last name. It would be forever this time. He could promise that!
Chapter 26
February 17th
Taylor rubbed her temples, fighting the dull throb that had become her constant companion over the past few days. The fluorescent lights of the hospital cafeteria seemed especially harsh today, making her squint as she picked at her lunch. The usually delicious chicken Caesar salad turned her stomach, and she pushed it away with a sigh. She was either not feeling anything at all or eating something in surplus.
“You’re not eating again?” Blake slid into the seat across from her, unwrapping her sandwich with an arched brow. “That’s what? The third time this week.”
Taylor shrugged, sipping her ginger ale. “Just not hungry. I thought I wanted it, but maybe I should’ve got the soup.”