Page 38 of Her Inconvenient Wedding Date

CHAPTER 19

Lily

“Why is a computer so smart?Because it listens to its motherboard.” ~Unknown

Hunter is a saint. Or maybe he hasn’t had enough exposure to my family yet. Either way, I couldn’t be more grateful to have him by my side tonight. Let’s just hope all my mom’s baby talk doesn’t make him hyperventilate.

That’s her talking about babies, not talking like a baby. Although I wouldn’t put it past her to start.

“Don’t you think Auntie Ling’s granddaughter is so precious?” She holds up a photo of a newborn sleeping in a basket with a miniature crown balanced on top of her head. “Doesn’t this picture make you want to have a baby just like this one?”

I shoot an exasperated look at Hunter who just stuffed a bite of rice into his mouth. He returns a knowing glance and quickly chews his food, all the while giving my leg a pat underneath the table. Not wanting him to choke, I jump in togive my mom an answer that I hope will satisfy her. “Maybe someday, Ma, but not right now.”

“But I am not getting any younger.” She sighs dramatically as she flips through the album on the dining table. Yes, she wants grandkids so much, she’s made a whole photo book of other people’s pride and joy. Shaking her head, she meets my gaze. “How do you expect me to help take care of your children if I am too old?”

My father makes a sympathetic noise. He doesn’t say much since he’s used to being around non-talkative patients all day and also because he values a peaceful home. He’s the OG saint.

The other people at the dinner table are Jasmine and Bruce who have been strangely quiet all evening. I wonder if they’ve had an argument, but it doesn’t seem likely since they keep glancing at each other like they have a secret.

Hunter speaks up, breaking the momentary silence. “Ah yi, that is very kind of you to offer to help with our kids. Lily and I appreciate it, and we will of course take what you said into consideration when we start planning for a family.”

Oh no. My hubby doesn’t know it yet, but he just opened up Mama Lam’s Box. Never mention the wordplanningunless you want to see my mother wield her multitasking sword.

“What Hunter means is that we haven’t even thought about kids yet, but we will sometime in the future?—”

“You do not need to worry!” my mother cuts me off with a smile that’s a little too eager. “I will help you plan! You know that’s what I’m good at.”

My father makes an agreeable sound this time. Agreeable, both in the sense that he acknowledges my mother’s abilities, and he believes in keeping the peace. He’s so patient, he puts thelongin long-suffering.

Jasmine, on the other hand, is not so adept at keeping herthoughts and feelings to herself when it comes to our mother. She can say and do things that I’d never dream ofandget away with them. I’m pretty sure it’s a God-given, younger-child perk to make up for all the times they get bossed around by older siblings.

As usual, Jasmine is the only person brave enough to tell our mother the truth. She does it with tact though. “Ma, Jie just got married a few days ago. She and Hunter need time to get used to each other before kids enter the picture. If they’d been dating for a while like me and Bruce, that would be a different story.”

“But they have been working together for a year,” Ma states, holding up an index finger. “One year. That’s 365 days, 8760 hours, 525,600 minutes, and 31,536,000 seconds. That’s a lot of time!”

Hunter’s jaw drops. “How did she do that?!” he whispers to me. “Your mom’s a human calculator.”

“She memorized the numbers,” I murmur back. “She’s done this spiel before.”

His eyes widen, but he still looks impressed. I give him about three weeks before the novelty wears off. That’s about 168% longer than the amount of time that our gift of dried seafood was able to appease my mother. I stuff a shrimp into my mouth and focus on chewing, which is much more productive than trying to plead our case. It’s better to let my mother say her piece, so the rest of us can get our peace.

Jasmine, however, isn’t ready to let things go. She sets her chopsticks down onto her rice bowl and clears her throat. “Ma, Ba, and Jie, there’s something I need to say.”

We all stop eating and direct our attention to her. Whatever she wants to announce must be serious because Bruce’s face is as white as the cold tofu appetizer dish.

“Jie,” she addresses me first, “you’ve alwaysbeen such a good big sister to me, even if you are a little bossy sometimes and you make a stink when I try to borrow your clothes?—”

“Because you never return them,” I pipe up in exasperation, “but go on.”

“I don’t take it for granted that you always want what’s best for meandyour clothes,” she adds with a sheepish smile. “I feel like you do so much for me, so I want to do something for you. Please don’t get mad, okay?”

My gut twists. “Okay, but can I be scared?”

“Trust me.”

Great. What person ever trusts someone when they say, “trust me”?

“Ma and Ba,” Jasmine says as she holds up her left hand, “Bruce and I eloped.”

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