“We’ve got to do something to help you, Baby. If you can’t talk to me, we need to bring in some—”
She shook her head and dug her fingers into his arm.
“No!” she said, agitated.
Cain stroked her silky arm, shoulder to wrist and back.
“We have to do something. I know what you’re feeling. It’s not easy to come to terms with taking a life...”
Jessa shook her head again, a flash of wild grief racing across her face.
“It’s not that.”
He tilted her chin up, his eyes concerned, looking intently at her.
“Then what is it? It’s driving me crazy that I’m not able to help you.” His stomach tightened. What if she wanted to move back to her place and was afraid to tell him? Did she want to leave him? He wasn’t going to make it easy for her, of course. But he also needed her to want to stay with him because she wanted to be there.
Jessa rubbed his arm with her fingertips. She loved his arms. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt that molded to his body like a glove, showing off his sculpted pecs and abs. The worn jeans he had on molded to his shape and made his thighs seem huge, and even his bare feet were darn sexy. They also cupped his cock in such a way it always made her mouth water with the need to taste him.
“Jessa?”
Her breathing hitched in her chest just looking at him. He was the sexiest, most masculine man she’d ever known, and she loved him with every bit of her being. Her depression didn’t come from killing a man, although that still and would always give her some bad moments. She was afraid of losing Cain when she told him the whole story about the night Drew was murdered. He didn’t know all of it, and it just might drive him away.
Jessa had tried to push herself to tell him a few times, but something had always stopped her. Jessa hadn’t ever talked about it out loud, not since that horrible night two years ago. She was afraid she wouldn’t be able to put her thoughts and memories into words, and what would she do if it changed the way he felt about her? She didn’t know if she would be able to handle another loss right then.
But she was convinced that if she didn’t tell him, she’d never find the courage to, and she knew it would eventually affect their relationship.
She felt icy fear spread through her as tears glazed her eyes.
“I haven’t told you everything about the night Drew died.”
****
His eyebrows drew together, and his heart sank to his stomach. What about Drew’s death would be affecting her this badly? Did what happened with Gary and Martinez somehow bring her grief back?
“Honey, it’s okay, there is nothing you can tell me that would ever make a difference about how I feel about you.”
She lowered her face, unable to look him in the eyes.
“The night Drew died, you know I got shot, too?”
He nodded. His lips tightened. He really didn’t like the reminder.
“Yes, I remember. That’s something I’m unlikely to forget, Baby.”
“I haven’t told you all of it.” She cleared her throat. A sensation of intense desolation swept through her. She closed her eyes, reliving the pain of that moment. “The bullet went through Drew and into my stomach.”
Cain pulled her close, his face bleak with the sorrow he felt for her.
“Yes, you told me that. I’m so sorry...”
Jessa lifted her head.
“That’s not it.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, holding back the tears. She took a deep breath. “I was pregnant.”
His head jerked back. He was unable to say anything for several moments and just stared at her in disbelief.
Cain winced. It felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. He couldn’t imagine going through what she’d gone through.