Page 6 of Desperate Temptations

She was confused by the rapid look of disdain that crossed his face before he cursed under his breath and walked a few feet away from her, his shoulders rigid with resentment. When he turned, desperation and a level of firm insistence crept into the words.

“I’m trained for this kind of thing. You’re not. God, if they got ahold of you, the things they’d do. You have no idea.”

Her voice was hoarse with frustration. “I’m not an idiot. I’ve thought about what I’m doing and the risks I’m taking, and frankly, I’m willing to do it. This is all I have. Please don’t try to take it away from me.”

She saw him grit his teeth, his body so tense he looked rigid.

“You’re willing to die?” he asked incredulously.

“Yes!” she yelled, shocking them both. Jessa unclenched her hands, took deep breaths, and willed herself to calm down.

He was still angry but strained to keep his voice even.

“Why?” He raised his arms to his side with a look of disbelief on his face. “Why, Jessa?”

Defensive tears slowly slid down her cheeks. She dabbed them angrily away with the back of her hand.

“Because if I don’t do something to find out why this happened, I might as well lie down and die myself.” Holding her hands out in front of her, pleading with him to understand. “It’s what keeps me going every day.”

Jessa paced over to the big bay window again, turned her back to him, and wiped the tears from her eyes. She gazed out through the glass but saw absolutely nothing. Her mind was a whirlwind of questions, emotions, and retrospection, which made her blind to everything else. She took a stuttering breath.

“I know he’s been gone a long time. But Gary, I don’t think it’s all about Drew. It’s about me being a different person now. I’m no longer the little princess who lets everyone take care of me.” Her voice grew in strength. “I want, no, I have to, be stronger than I was.”

“You’re scaring me, Honey. You can be strong without putting yourself in danger. It sounds like you have some kind of death wish. You have people who care about you. What about us?”

She heard the desperation in his tone. She looked at him over her shoulder.

“No, not a death wish. But I won’t sit by and do nothing either.” A feeling of darkness seeped into her heart. What if she died? She couldn’t think of anyone who’d mourn her, maybe Gary and Aubrey, but they weren’t really that close anymore.

She suddenly realized she hadn’t seen or talked to Aubrey in over a year. Some friend I am, she thought.

Frustration was written on his face. Finally, he looked down and shook his head.

“I must tell you, Jessa, if my boss orders me to arrest you for tampering with the investigation, I will. I’ll do it if it will keep you safe.”

Looking just as determined, she tilted her chin up.

“Okay, I understand. You do what you have to do, and I’ll do what I have to do.”

“You’re not leaving me any choice, Jessa.”

She frowned at him, confused.

“What choice? To arrest me? Go for it,” she said and shrugged.

****

Gary watched her silently for several minutes while his heart sank in despair. He couldn’t lose her now, not when he was so close to finally having her. Everything was, at last, coming together for him.

He felt a desperate defeat. He hoped he wouldn’t make a mistake she’d never forgive him for, or he could forgive himself for. He just prayed the interest she showed over Cain was because of fear, or maybe the fact that Drew had been his friend and she hadn’t known about it, so she was curious, and nothing else. He didn’t think he had to worry about Cain’s feelings for her. The man didn’t seem to have any, and he could never see Jessa fall for someone like Cain.

“No ... worse. Most people would choose jail over what’s coming for you.”

Good, her eyes widened, and he finally glimpsed a shadow of fear that darkened her beautiful eyes.

“What are you talking about, Gary?” she asked.

He walked to the door and turned back with his hand on the knob.

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