Page 36 of The Other Fork in the Road

Zoey:

Awesome! About fucking time you listened to me. I’m always right.

Me:

You really want to go down that road?

Zoey:

Uh, nope. Have fun, and I’ll see you soon.

I looked across the pasture, and it seemed Jax was talking to a cow. Austin approached him and then walked toward me.

“I think something’s wrong with Jax.”

“What?” I looked over and saw he was bent down, his hands resting on his knees, and he was definitely speaking to the cow. Cow whisperer or weird farmer?

We approached Jax slowly.

“Hey, Bud, what’s up?” Austin slapped him on the shoulder.

Jax tore his eyes away from the cow. “I think he wants to get out of here.”

“The cow?” Austin scratched his head, and I wondered if this was yet another prank Jax was trying to play on me. Not falling for it.

“He told me he wants to get the hell off this ranch.” Jax shook his head and whispered, “I think we should load him in the truck and set him free.”

I had not seen this coming; Jax was insane.

“Guys, we need to set him free! Come on, Austin, let’s help him.” Jax’s arms were flying in the air as he spoke.

I stepped closer, took Jax’s chin in my hand, and zeroed in on his eyes.

“What’s he on?”

“Nothing. Jax doesn’t do anything.” Austin looked closer at Jax.

“His eyes are all messed up. He’s on something.”

Zoey, of course, would be the reason I knew a little about the topic.

Austin took Jax by the shoulders and shook him hard, causing his head to bob around. The sudden thought of a Jax bobblehead doll struck my funny bone.

“Jax, what the hell is wrong with you, man?”

“Nothing. I just think it’s time we helped the cattle. They have dreams and ideas, and I think they want to go to Canada.”

Frustration consumed Austin. “Jax, did you take something?”

“The only thing I’ve taken is the freedom of this cow!” He suddenly looked upset.

“Wait, when he was putting on my bandage, he said he ate some candy.” Did candy have an expiration date? This could explain a lot of my monthly PMS issues since I basically freebase Skittles.

“Son of a bitch, candy frommytruck?” Austin’s eyes were like frisbees as I nodded.

“Damn it, my friend Paul stuck some edibles in my glove box and forgot to take them out. I think there were three or four. He’s screwed.”

Huh, and he said there wasn’t enough for me.

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