Page 103 of Wild in Minnesota

I leaned in. “Listen to me. I’ve known Ed long before he knew you, and from day one, you were the Theraflu.”

Tawnee wiped her eyes. “What?”

I put my finger up. “Okay, you know when you wake up and all is normal, but then as the day goes on, you feel feverish, and your nose fills with snot?”

Tawnee looked at Fern. “Am I the snot in this story? I don’t like where this is going.”

I waved my hands, attempting to gain a smidge of control.

Fern took her hand. “No, you’re not the mucus.” Her eyes narrowed at me. “Please tell me she’s not the mucus?”

“Listen, when you feel bad, and your body aches, you push through your day. You try to be your best, but it’s all wrong. Then you finally get home. It’s quiet, you climb into bed, and when your head hits the pillow, the weight is off. Then you get to take medicine, close your eyes, and know you’re exactly where you need to be to get better. That’s how Ed was when he found you.” I grabbed Tawnee’s hand. “Get it? You’re the Theraflu. You’re what he needed to be well.”

I stared at the two blank faces in front of me when Tawnee closed her eyes and slowly shook her head. “That is the best fucking story I’ve ever heard.” She looked at Fern. “I’m the Theraflu.” Then she looked back at me.

“Yes, you fixed him without meaning to.” Well, that babbling story came across better than I’d anticipated.

“But before me?—”

How was I going to get through to these two? “Please hear me.” I leaned in closer. “It would be wrong to judge a man on what happened before he met you. Who he dated, the stupid things he did because it was before he’d ever laid eyes on you. Tawnee, it was all over for Ed the day he met you. That’s why it was a whirlwind from day one until he proposed. It’s because he’s crazy about you.”

She let out a long sigh. “Thank you, Gabe. My mind has been running in circles this week.”

My eyes connected with Fern’s for a long second, but she wore no expression whatsoever. Was I chipping away at the icy exterior I’d created?

“So we can all head back to the hotel now? Right?” I gave myself a quick high-five. My job here was done.

“I’ll go back after one more thing.” Tawnee waved down a waitress dressed in black leather from head to toe. “Hello, beautiful, I need to order three Colorado Bulldogs.”

I held up my hand. “Not for me. I’m the driver.”

Fern grabbed Tawnee by her shoulders. “One drink and then we have to go back. Okay?”

“Don’t be a fuddy duddy.” Tawnee giggled. “My hair appointment isn’t until eleven tomorrow morning. I will not leave unless you have drinks with me. I need to see tipsy Fern.”

“Just one drink.” Fern nodded.

Forty-five minutes, two Colorado Bulldogs and a shot later, I sat back watching Tawnee and Fern tear up the dance floor.

After a little more twirking, I knew it was time to get out of there. Once I wrangled up the gals, we headed outside.

I walked between them and let my hand graze Fern’s. She just kept walking. Was she ignoring me, or did her tipsy hand not feel it? I did a replay and the same reaction, but when I peeked over, I saw a little grin.

Suddenly Tawnee bolted across the street. “Shit! She’s flown the coop again!”

Fern kicked the ground. “Mother Hubbard!”

I grabbed Fern’s hand, and we ran across the street to find Tawnee on the sidewalk. She pointed to the Dipstix Male Strip Club sign above the door.

“Come on!” Tawnee screamed with laughter. “A quick peek! I’ve never been to a male strip club before.”

“I need to get your girls back to the hotel.” I put on my tough guy voice.

Tawnee did a dance. “I promise we’ll go in for ten minutes. Just for shits and giggles.”

I looked up at the moon. “It’s late, and we are not going in there.” It was then that I looked back to see I was alone on the sidewalk. The two girls who were driving my sanity right off the freaking cliff were going to force me to enter a place I never wanted to go.

I’d been in my fair share of strip joints, but never a male review. I didn’t know exactly what I expected, but I entered to what appeared to be a lady pep rally. My eyes ran around the room as fast as the plump red head who was storming the stage as a firefighter ripped off his shirt.

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