Page 38 of Snowballed

“It’s all my fault, Coach Dubé,” Zoe says. “When we played together at the mixed squad game, Noah really helped me a lot. So I asked him if he had more advice for me.”

“Ah, interesting.” The coach cranes her neck to see my clipboard scribblings. “What is your coaching experience?”

“Not so much coaching, but I’ve been working at my dad’s hockey school since I was a teenager.”

“Gary Goodwin, right?” she asks.

Why can’t I even hear his name without feeling like shit? “Yeah. That’s him.”

“Okay. Well, Zoe needs to get off the ice and cool down. Maybe you two can finish your lesson later.”

“Sure.” I hop over the barrier and make my way out. But I can still hear Zoe and her coach talking.

“How did he help you on Friday?” the coach asks.

Zoe laughs. “To be honest, he started by making me angry, so I played harder. But once I listened to him on the ice, I felt more confident. He’s amazing. He sees the ice really well.”

That compliment feels good to hear. Zoe’s funny. She insults me when I’m up and compliments me when I’m down. But I guess that’s the way things should be.

That evening, I sit down at the kitchen table and go through my notes with Zoe as she makes dinner.

“Time is the key for defensemen. Time to see the ice and make the right decisions.”

“But how can I get more time?” she asks.

“You have to do a bunch of little things. Anticipation and getting to the right spot faster. Working on your skating. Puck-carrying drills so you can keep your head up. Knowing your opponent.”

I pull out a notebook. “I keep notes on all my opponents. Unfortunately, I’m not going to see most of these guys this year.”

Zoe puts down her chef’s knife and sits down beside me, close enough that I can feel her warmth through my hoodie.

“This is incredible. So much preparation. No wonder you’re so good,” she says.

“It’s not a big deal. When you get to the NHL, the video coach shows you all this stuff before games, which would be way better. Our coaches do it too, usually if there’s someone they want to shut down. But let’s say you play New Hampshire Friday, why not jot down the things you notice and remember them for Saturday’s game? The really good players can do it in their heads.”

She thumbs through the book, squinting at my tiny notes and drawings. “Did someone teach you to do this?”

“No. It’s just notes.” I began when my dad got mad at me for not remembering players, something that came easily to him. Now that I’m removed from the pressure of making pro hockey, it’s easier for me to see why I didn’t make the cut. A great player has to have it all—like Adam does. He can remember plays that happened back in Bantam.

“Wow. It’s going to take a lot of time.” Zoe jumps up and immediately I miss her warmth. She goes back to chopping potatoes.

“Which I told you that you don’t have in the first place.” Then I ask something I’ve been wondering about, “How come you do all the cooking here?” Denise produces the occasional meal but it’s mainly Zoe.

“Oh. Well, I like cooking.” There’s a long pause as she seasons the potatoes and puts them in the oven. “Having you live here was my idea. My mother said that a boarder would be too much work, so I offered to do all the cooking.”

“Oh, sorry. I should be helping.” Although I don’t know the first thing about cooking. To keep us on our diets, my dad arranged for meal deliveries. My life was optimized so I could focus on hockey.

“It’s fine, Noah. As long as you handle the chores while I’m away, it’s all worthwhile.”

Once again, I wonder why the farm is so important to Zoe. Then I turn back to my notebook.

“After dinner, let’s go to that little gym in the barn, and I can show you some dynamic stretching.” Working out in the barn will be like those yoga with goats classes.

“Sure, great.”

“Has your play changed over the years?” I ask. Because if she’s always played like she does now, I’m surprised she hasn’t been cut to make room for promising freshmen or sophomores.

Zoe’s back stiffens. “I’m one of Coach Cray’s mysteries. I showed great potential in my freshman year, but my game has gone downhill ever since.”

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