Page 41 of Snowballed

She seesaws her hand. “Depends on the guy, I guess. It’s a bit of an ego boost.”

Well, if there’s one person who doesn’t need an ego boost, his initials would be N.G.

“I wonder what the minimum number of victims we can get so Tsarina Helena will be satisfied?” I say.

Dev laughs. “One, if it’s Noah Goodwin. The Tsarina has a big old crush on him. Seriously, three or four would be the right number. No guy wants to do something like this alone, but in a group, they’d be more relaxed.”

I groan. “I really don’t want to do this. It’s too objectifying. ‘Can we sell your body so we can get new track suits?’”

“After we take out the guys in relationships, there will only be eight or nine players left. If they say no, they say no. But a good strategy is to ask the guys most likely to say yes first. That will help convince the next guy.”

I like the way Dev is strategizing this mission like a game. It takes out the ick factor.

“I’m pretty sure I can get my brother to agree,” I say.

“Perfect. Let’s get this done after their practice tomorrow. We’ll ask your brother first.”

Dev and I head over to the rink on Monday afternoon. Of course, I’ve already seen Noah multiple times since getting back. Apparently, the weekend chores went fine, and all the goats appear unharmed.

Our advantage is that the guys won both their weekend games, so they’re bound to be in a good mood.

“Hey, Derek,” I call out when he exits.

My brother lopes over and musses my hair. “Hey. Sup, sis?”

With Derek, I keep things simple. “Our hockey fundraiser includes a bachelor auction. We want you. Are you in?”

He crosses his arms and grins. “What’s in it for me?”

Ah, the negotiations begin. “Besides a date with a gorgeous co-ed?” I ask.

“You can’t guarantee that. What if some swamp monster bids on me?”

“Actually it’s a draw, so anyone could win.”

Derek taps his toe.

“How about I deliver one of my pizzas for your dinner one night?” I offer.

“I live with a bunch of hungry, hungry hippos. One of your pizzas would last five seconds. How about you cater a pizza dinner for the whole house?”

I calculate how much work that would be. “Here’s my counteroffer: I’ll make a whole dinner if you convince at least three of your teammates to participate in this auction.”

Derek closes one eye to think. “Okay. They’re going to benefit too.”

I give Dev the good news, and the three of us start talking to the guys as they emerge from the room. Forward A.J. Scoville agrees to do it.

Matthew Rose emerges next. The other Burling-ten-ten is good looking in a pretty boy way that doesn’t appeal to me. Still, I babble so much that Dev elbows me out of the way and takes over. It turns out that he has a girlfriend back home, so that’s a no. Dev’s boyfriend, Seb Hunter, comes out and stays to help us. Justin Murphy agrees quickly and becomes victim number three. We strike out with two more players.

Spenser Briggs, being a goalie, is one of the last guys out. He’s a cute ginger, but so shy I feel almost cruel for even asking him. He blushes bright red as he politely refuses.

“Well, we have three now,” I say. “That’s enough, isn’t it?”

Dev gives me a look. “You have to at least ask Noah.”

Derek snorts. “As much as I want one more player, he’s not going to do it.”

“Why not?” I ask.

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