Page 48 of Snowballed

“Got her,” a faraway voice calls out. We both turn to see Zoe in the back pasture. She has cornered one of the goats and now she’s grabbing her collar.

Bobby turns back to me. “You’re not messing with Zoe, are you?”

I laugh. “I don’t think anyone messes with Zoe.”

This finally makes him smile. “You got that right.”

Zoe arrives leading the goat by the collar. Bobby opens the gate and in goes Fran.

“Oh, hey. You guys have met?” Zoe asks. She looks nervous.

“Best friends already,” I say, and Bobby grunts.

“Bobby brought a buck over to breed with my goats,” Zoe explains. “It’s the right timing for spring babies.”

The three of us watch as the woolly buck comes over, and he and Fran start sniffing each other’s butts.

“Is she in heat?” Bobby asks.

“I’m pretty sure,” says Zoe.

Then the buck does the weirdest thing. He makes this bubbling noise like he’s blowing raspberries. Then he starts wagging his tongue in and out. He’s the stereotype of a horny guy at a bar.

“Jesus, he looks just like Mo inSlap Shot,” I say.

Zoe and Bobby both laugh. Bobby adds, “You’re right. But the lady goats love this stuff.”

Fran doesn’t seem impressed. She trots away, and the buck follows her.

“Go get her, Mo,” Bobby says.

“Is that really his name?” I ask.

“No. My brother’s kids named him Pancake. What kind of name is that for a buck?” The goat has golden fur, so I can see their thinking process.

“I think it’s cute,” says Zoe. Based on the names of her goats, she would.

Mo/Pancake finally corners Fran and jumps on her as we all watch. Almost immediately, he’s done.

“Is that it?” I ask. Talk about premature ejaculation.

“In and out. Getting her done,” says Bobby.

Zoe goes over and checks out Fran’s butt. Who knows what she’s looking for? “Looks successful. He can have another go while I get Pie.”

Once she’s gone, Bobby and I watch the billy circling Fran again with his bubbling and tongue antics.

“All that work for seven seconds in heaven,” I say.

“That’s nature. At least it’s only taking him a couple of minutes of courting. Humans have to work a lot harder and still get shot down.”

He’s watching Zoe as he says this. It’s clear that Bobby still likes her. He knows farming and his family wants to buy this property. She could live her farm dream and make it successful.

Zoe leads Pie across the field with Pete running at her heels. Her clothes are dirt-smeared, and her hair has bits of straw in it, but she looks lovely—fresh and happy. Everything about her projects strength and competence.

Bobby’s eyes are still glued to Zoe. Maybe he sees her as the perfect farm wife. To me, Zoe looks like someone you can depend on. In my experience, she’s literally someone who can catch you when you fall.

“She belongs here,” he mutters, and he means me to hear that.

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