Page 78 of Snowballed

“What are you up to these days, Lauren?” Amil asks.

Lauren manages to balance lightweight work as an event promoter with running her own fundraising charity. Her younger sister had childhood leukemia, so Lauren is very motivated. Sure enough, she starts hitting us up for donations to her spring auction event. Amil promises a cash donation, Charlie will get his company to give something, and then she turns to me.

“Okay, this is embarrassing, but I don’t have a ton of extra cash lying around right now,” I confess.

“Do you think you could get your mom or dad to donate some kind of memorabilia?” she asks.

“I’ll ask.” And then it occurs to me that Adam’s an NHLer now so I could get a signed jersey or something from him.

“Okay, I’ll come by your place this week,” she says. “I’d love to say hi to everyone again.” Lauren is as good a closer as they come.

Switching back to social mode, she invites us to a New Year’s Eve party. Amil accepts for all of us, and then asks Lauren if she wants to dance.

After they leave, Charlie and I order more drinks and relax on the banquette.

“Amil’s more confident now. I think it’s his job,” Charlie says.

“It’s good. We don’t have to listen to him regretting all the things he didn’t do.”

“Does it bother you that he’s going after Lauren? You know, bro code and all,” Charlie says.

“No. We broke up months ago.” One of the problems with being slow and methodical is that getting out of a relationship is tough. Lauren and I probably should have broken up after one summer. We have very different personalities; she loves to go out and socialize. But it’s hard to let go of someone I feel comfortable with. If Lauren hadn’t initiated the breakup, who knows how long I would have taken?

27

Zoe

On Christmas morning, there’s a huge dump of snow. I look out my window at the large drifts and sigh. I miss Noah. Doing farm chores alone isn’t fun anymore. I also miss the excitement of Noah appearing at any moment for a secret hug or kiss. I miss his sweet ways and ripped body.

But I drag myself out of bed and dress warmly. I manage to clear out an area for the chickens to wander. Most of them take one circuit and return to their coop. I milk the goats, but there’s no place for them to go outside. And it’s too big a job for one woman.

Derek is home, sleeping in what I now consider to be Noah’s room. I pound on his door.

“Hey, sleeping beauty. Can you help me shovel?”

I hear a murmur and then nothing, which means he’s gone back to sleep. So I go downstairs, slip outside, and make a snowball. I creep back upstairs, quietly open his door, and pitch my wakeup call. It hits him right in the face. Derek screeches, but by the time he’s out of bed, I’m already pulling on my boots and heading outside.

Ten minutes later, Derek appears.

“You’re in such trouble,” he threatens.

“It’s worth it if you can help me clear this yard.” Derek is the only one who can get our ancient and temperamental snowblower to work. It only takes an hour with both of us pitching in before there’s a nice clean area. The goats take a few cautious steps, but in no time are exploring and munching on the hay I’ve put into the feeding stand. That gives me a chance to clean up the barn. Derek falls into work beside me.

“It’s better on campus, you know,” he says.

“What’s better?”

“Living the student life. All I have to do is school and hockey. After doing all this crap, it’s like being on holiday.”

“You sound like Mom,” I say.

“Yeah, but Mom’s kind of right. You’re doing all this extra work, and we’d be better off—”

Now Derek’s piling on. I cut him off. “Don’t say it. You know I’m doing this for Dad. The farm was his dream.”

Derek shakes his head. “Zoe, the farm worked when all four of us were there. Dad’s contracting income meant money wasn’t tight. You and me helped, and Mom did a lot more.”

I nod. The barn was where my dad had his stroke. My mom found him, and since then she hates going inside.

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