Page 98 of Snowballed

Derek’s brutal honesty and Noah’s kindness made me realize all that I’d lost in pursuit of a quixotic goal. I thought that everyone was against me, but everyone “fighting” me wanted change for my own good. I love the farm, but I’m ready for a change.

I clear my throat. “I know I’ve been the holdout about selling the farm. But I won’t fight it any longer.”

My mother stares and squeezes my hand. “Are you sure?”

I manage a laugh. “Mom, it’s your big chance. Don’t give me an out.”

She smiles. We sit in silence for a few minutes. The muted TV is showing a travel show. Maybe I’ll travel after I graduate. Have some real adventures.

But meanwhile, there’s a lot to do here. Get my mother back on her feet. And get ready to… move.

“When do you think it will happen?” I ask.

“Well, I doubt that Rusty Cooper will want the farm during the winter. So, presumably the spring. Unless you want things to move faster. Did you want to live on campus like your brother?”

For the first time, I consider this question with an open mind. Would I like to live on campus and hang out with teammates or go to parties at the last minute? Well, sort of. But I also like my identity as a farmer. Besides, I’m not really the party type.

“I’m split. I’d like to have more free time, but I like living where we do.” I offer this like my mother will magically conjure up a solution, as she used to do when I was little.

“I’ll talk to Rusty later this week.” Then she shakes her head. “So many good memories there. Remember how proud your father was of that henhouse?”

I nod. “Or that time he was wrestling Prosciutto into the pigpen and fell into the mud?”

We both giggle. My mother pulls my head close and kisses my forehead. “I love you, Zoe.”

“I love you too,” I say.

It’s only a first step for us, but things will be better.

“I guess I’ll go home now,” I say. “When should I pick you up tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure. Once they have all the test results, I guess. I can message you.” She watches me put my coat on. “I guess you have to get back for the animals.”

“No. Actually, Noah is taking care of everything. Not by himself though.” Noah has been vague on the details.

My mother perks up. “Really? That’s very nice of him.”

“Don’t get all excited. That’s just the kind of person he is. It doesn’t mean anything.” It certainly doesn’t mean he’s interested in getting back together.

“He is a nice guy,” my mother agrees. “Handsome too.”

I laugh. “Don’t worry. I’m sure at some point I’ll date someone at least half as wonderful.”

“Don’t belittle yourself.” That’s her constant refrain. But she’s right.

I drive home, and Noah’s car is in the driveway. But when I go to the barn, I find Paul Wagner and Rocky.

“Hey, what are you guys doing here?” I ask.

Rocky gives me a crushing hug. “How’s your mom doing?” she asks.

“Good. She’s coming home tomorrow.”

“That’s great news,” Paul says.

“Is Noah here? I saw his car.”

“Oh no, he lent me his car so we could get out here,” Paul says. I swallow my disappointment.

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